


The Long Road

by Anonymous



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Asexual Character, Brotherhood: Final Fantasy XV, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:12:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9447050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Noctis is in love with Ignis. The problem is he doesn't want to be with him intimately so much astrade lazy kisses tangled in bed togetherfor the rest of forever. He just has to convince Ignis to admit that he wants this, too. He can figure out the sex thing later.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For [this](https://ffxv-kinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/841.html?thread=387145#cmt387145) prompt over on the kink meme.
> 
> Noctis is **asexual** and seventeen and pretty sure life isn't fair. Ignis is driven by his duties. Gladio just wants to do his job. Prompto would probably understand if Noctis would just explain the situation. Regis is _trying_ to but Noctis isn't making it easy.
> 
> Chapters are basically broken up into how much I can fit into one DW comment and so they might be a little uncohesive at times. This was originally only going to be the "sex" scene but I decided to write the whole damn courtship instead.

“So, uh, how long have you two been dating?” Prompto asks.

He stares longingly at the milkshake Noctis has (“ _ Iggy, does this taste weird?” “It tastes like artificial vanilla, but it’s fine.” “If you say so.” _ ) and he doesn’t seem to notice the way both Ignis and Noctis blanche at the question.

“We’re not dating,” Ignis says firmly.

Noctis is glad Ignis manages to find the words, because he certainly can’t. Ignis is his advisor, his mentor, and in a lot of ways his oldest friend. He’s been there for Noctis since around the time Noctis lost his mother. It makes them more like brothers than anything.

“Really?” Prompto asks, frowning. “Because you licked a napkin to clean Noctis’ cheek and that’s an awful lot like something a girlfriend would do. Or a grandmother.”

“Ignis is older than me,” Noctis says.

“Why does that matter?” Prompto asks, head tilted to the side.

Noctis suddenly isn’t sure it does. He sees the heated flush on Ignis’ cheeks and the way Prompto is staring at him in confusion and wonders if he’s managed to miss something vital. He fills his mouth with fries and nudges Ignis in the side.

“It matters,” Ignis says, finally. “It would be inappropriate given the situation.”

“Uh huh,” Prompto says, like he doesn’t quite believe it. He doesn’t push the issue.

 

* * *

 

Noctis thinks about it sometimes.

Ignis’ soft brown hair, neatly parted. His warm, expressive eyes hidden behind the reflection of his glasses. The clean press of his clothes. The gentleness of his hands when he bandages Noctis’ cuts and bruises from practicing with Gladiolus or punching unsuspecting walls. The warmth of his long, lean body when they stand too close in the kitchen, Noctis eager to taste whatever sweet Ignis has made for him today.

He’ll be a good boyfriend to someone, some day. Not Noctis, because there is always going to be this hierarchy between them and Ignis has a thing about  _ rules _ .

Still, Noctis thinks it would be nice to have those arms wrapped around him every now and then, keeping him warm and safe.

 

* * *

 

“The Summer Solstice is coming up,” Clarus says conversationally.

“I’m bringing Iris,” Gladiolus says, deadpan. He doesn’t look up from the battered training blade in his hands and he clearly knows where this conversation is going.

“Hardly,” Clarus says. “I’ve already bought her a dress that matches my suit.”

“Fuck,” Gladiolus says. His father raps his ass with a training sword. “Hey!”

“Language,” Clarus reprimands. He tosses the training blade in the air and Noctis barely manages to catch it before the hilt catches him in the face. “And you, Your Highness?”

_ Oh _ , Noctis thinks. He shrugs. “My dad usually just invites one of the noble girls on my behalf. Last year she was named after a fruit.”

“ _ Clementine _ ,” Clarus corrects. He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “Her father is your father’s chief advisor on Education. As I recall, you made her cry.”

“Not on purpose,” Noctis says. It wasn’t, either. He just didn’t understand where the romantic notion spawned in her head that just because they were expected to dance together meant that Noctis was going to kiss her. “Ignis says she has a gentle soul.”

“Says the guy with a heart like knives,” Gladiolus says, amused.

Noctis has no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but Clarus glares at his son.

“Perhaps the both of your are old enough to find your own dates to the festival?” Clarus suggests. He prods Gladiolus in the chest gently. “In your own age range, perhaps?”

Gladiolus makes a face and Noctis sympathises completely.

 

* * *

 

Ignis is making something in the kitchen and it smells too good for Noctis to focus. He taps his pen on his workbook, trigonometry forgotten in favor of the soft humming Ignis does when he forgets there are people around. He’s made himself completely at home in Noctis’ apartment and it does strange things to Noctis’ heart.

“What are you making?” Noctis asks, eventually. There was merlot and fresh tomatoes and garlic and the apartment smells rich with it all.

“Just marinara sauce. The water is almost boiling for the noodles to cook,” Ignis says. He looks over his shoulder and smiles fondly at Noctis. “Finish your homework. Dinner should be ready soon.”

“No meat sauce?” Noctis asks.

“No meat sauce,” Ignis reassures. Noctis can have made an offhand comment five years ago and Ignis still bears it in mind to this day. “I’ll make sure to pull the bayleaf out before I serve you.”

“Will you be my date to the Summer Solstice Festival?”

Noctis isn’t sure where the question comes from, barely remembers the thought forming before the words are leaving his mouth. It feels right though. It feels  _ good _ .

“Noctis…” Ignis says quietly. His back is turned to Noctis and his shoulders are slumped. “I can’t.”

Just like that the unexpected elation comes crashing down. Noctis’ heart is in his stomach and his fingers are shaking. He had expected the answer to be  _ no _ but he had  _ hoped _ …

Ignis comes here almost every day after he gets out of class. He tidies up after Noctis and he feeds him and helps him study and do homework while avoiding his own. He stays as late as Noctis wants or needs him to and he comes back every morning to help get him ready for the day.

“It’s fine,” Noctis lies. “Clarus and Dad were just…” He wets his lips and he doesn’t know how to finish his sentence. He knows it frustrates Ignis, but Ignis hasn’t even stopped stirring the marinara to look at him.

The water is boiling but he hasn’t added the noodles.

Inhaling deeply, Ignis turns to look at Noctis. “I don’t want you to misunderstand. Someone already asked me. It would be rude to decline their invitation after I’ve already accepted.”

“Gladio,” Noctis curses.

“Gladio?” Ignis asks, confused. “What’s Gladio have to do with this?”

Somehow, that makes this entire situation worse. He thinks he could live with seeing Ignis with someone else if it was Gladiolus because it wouldn’t mean anything then. They’re just friends. Gladiolus is definitely not into Ignis if the girls who flirt with him are any indication.

Noctis picks up his pencil and stares at his homework. He can’t bring himself to meet Ignis’ gaze or carry on the conversation, and Ignis thankfully lets it drop.

 

* * *

 

“Do you want to be my date to the Summer Solstice?” Noctis asks Prompto at lunch.

“Heck yeah I do,” Prompto says. He gnaws on a carrot stick before shaking it in Noctis’ direction. “Shouldn’t you be asking a girl though?”

“Girls are overrated,” Noctis says with a shrug.

“I’m going to lose my virginity before you do and you’re a  _ prince _ ,” Prompto says, a weird sort of admiration in his voice.

“Whatever,” Noctis says. He ignores the weird twist in his gut and rubs his temple. “I’ll make sure Ignis gets you a nice suit.”

 

* * *

 

“You invited Prompto,” Regis says.

“Uh huh,” Noctis says.

He can feel the energy of the crystal thrumming through his veins, but the only thing Noctis can manage to summon to him is the same small knife he’d watched his father put in the armory months ago. It’s frustrating and a million times more interesting than where he knows this conversation is heading.

“Not Clementine,” Regis says.

“Prompto,” Noctis reiterates. “You’ve met Prompto. You liked him.”

“What about Aiko? Or Selphie? She’s going to school with Ignis now, but she’s not that much older than you,” Regis suggests. At Noctis’ blank expression, he sighs. “The charming one with the gap teeth that forced you to marry her in primary school. What was her name.”

“Pretty sure Alona is gay,” Noctis says. He brushes his bangs out of his eyes and frowns. He summons the knife and releases it, but his father doesn’t seem to notice.

“That doesn’t surprise me, to be honest,” Regis says good naturedly. “Still, I’d been hoping you would have invited a nice girl…”

Noctis groans. “Dad.”

“It’s about time you started to think about these things, Noctis,” Regis says, in all seriousness. His eyes look grave. “You’ll be expected to get married by the time you’ve finished college, and then the city will be hounding you about an heir.”

If Noctis could roll his eyes any harder, he’s pretty sure his eyes would explode. “I have zero interest in girls or heirs or getting married. Can’t I just finish high school first?.”

“That’s what worries me,” Regis says. He sighs heavily and rubs his hands over his eyes. “Okay, again with the knife. Actually hold onto it this time.”

 

* * *

 

Prompto looks good in his suit, though he needs Ignis’ help to figure out how to tuck and tie everything and look presentable. He fidgets with his cufflinks and Ignis gently smacks the back of his hands before returning to his bow tie.

He looks really, really good in black.

“How come we have to be all dressed up when most of the city is going to be wearing you know, actual fun colours and patterns and stuff?” Prompto asks.

“Because you are escorting the crown prince and the crown prince must be appropriately attired for every occasion,” Ignis says.

“Right,” Prompto says. He reaches for his bowtie, to adjust it or to fidget, and Ignis smacks the back of his hand again. “Ow, hey, I get it. How come you’re  _ here _ instead of helping your boyfriend get ready?”

_ Boyfriend? _ Noctis thinks, and his heart drops into his stomach.

“Because Noctis doesn’t know how to tie a bowtie,” Ignis replies. He gestures for Noctis to step up next and frowns when he doesn’t. “Noctis, we don’t have all night. We’re already running late.”

Ignis doesn’t deny that his date is a man. That maybe he’s more than just a friend like Ignis had led Noctis to believe with his comment about it being rude to cancel plans. He sighs and steps into Noctis’ space like he hasn’t been lying to Noctis about the depths of his relationship.

A part of Noctis had hoped that Ignis was going with a woman. It would be easier, he thinks. Knowing Ignis was with a woman who would love him and give him children. Smart as hell if Ignis was interested in her, probably without self-doubt and borderline crippling anxieties about who she even was.

Nothing like what Noctis has to offer.

But knowing it’s with a man? Someone who will probably go home with Ignis and kiss him while their limbs are tangled together in bed, bodies rocking together -

The bile rises in Noctis’ throat. His stomach clenches and he can feel the cool sweat prickling on his skin.

It’s better this way.

“Noctis?” Ignis asks, and this time he sounds concerned. He touches the back of his hand to Noctis’ forehead to check his temperature, and frowns. “You look unwell. Should I call your father and tell him we’ll be late?”

“It’s fine,” Noctis lies. He offers Ignis his bowtie and tries to control the shaking of his hands. “I’m fine.”

Ignis looks like he doesn’t believe him, but he accepts the bowtie anyways.

 

* * *

 

As soon as they’re free from pleasantries and speeches, Noctis grabs Prompto by the wrist and drags him into the garden. His garden. The one his mother used to read to him in and the only place his father doesn’t try to yell at him in. There’s fairy lights strung up for the celebration, but it’s largely untouched.

“Uh, pretty sure the party is back that way,” Prompto says. He picks at his cufflinks and frowns. “I kind of wanted to see if we could score some of those champagne flutes and did you see the bombshell Gladiolus brought? She could bench press both of us together.”

“You’re the worst,” Noctis says. He drops down onto a bench and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I don’t want to see Ignis with his stupid  _ boyfriend _ .”

“Oh, fuck,” Prompto says. He drops down on the bench at Noctis’ side and pats his back awkwardly. “Does he know you want to bang him six ways from Sunday?”

“I  _ don’t _ !” Noctis objects.

He doesn’t. His respect and admiration for Ignis runs deeper than the physical. And while he’s sure Ignis is just as considerate a lover as he is in every other aspect of his life, it’s not the reason Noctis’ stomach is in knots tonight. Other times, maybe, but not for the reasons Prompto is thinking.

“So you are actually in love with him?” Prompto asks softly. His expression is apologetic. “I’m sorry, man. Maybe his new boyfriend is really boring and has a receding hairline?”

Noctis just groans and digs his hands back into his eyes. He wants to forget about this whole stupid thing and just go home already.

“I guess at least we don’t have to worry about pickpockets in here,” Prompto says conversationally. “And we can hear the music. It’s kind of nice. My phone is fully charged, too.”

Looking at Prompto out of the corners of his eyes, Noctis smiles tiredly. “You’re the best.”

Prompto scoffs. “Obviously.”

 

* * *

 

Ignis’ boyfriend isn’t quite what Noctis expected.

He’s taller than Ignis by at least an inch or two and he’s  _ handsome _ . Black hair and green eyes and strong features that he’s sure to pass on to any kids he might have. Not that he could with Ignis. But still. He looks like he works out, but it’s probably  _ crossfit _ and not for any purpose other than posing selfies on Instagram.

Noctis bets he’s majoring in psychology and he hates the guy already.

“Noctis,” Ignis says, surprised. “I’d been informed you were sequestered away for the night. I hadn’t expected to see you.”

“We wanted to see your boyfriend,” Prompto says. He folds his arms over his chest and fixes the guy with a hard stare.

“Oh, I don’t know if I’d say  _ boyfriend _ ,” he says, with an awkward laugh. “It’s only like the third time we’ve gone out. Uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you, your Highness.”

He holds out his hand and it’s only at Ignis reprimanding stare that Noctis takes it. The shake is firm but short and Noctis returns his hands to the warmth of his pockets.

“Right,” Ignis says. “Were you two ready to head home? I know your mother didn’t want you out all night, Prompto…”

Prompto purses his lips and looks at Noctis in confusion. Prompto’s mother had been very clear when she told Ignis he could keep Prompto all weekend if he wanted to, so far as packing a bag for him.

Ignis can’t have forgotten which means Ignis is  _ lying _ . Ignis never lies.

“Yeah,” Prompto says. He rubs the back of his neck. “It is getting pretty late. It was nice to meet you, guy.”

“Oh, Eren,” he says. “I guess this is goodnight then?” He leans in to kiss Ignis’ cheek right as Ignis moves to smack Prompto’s hand away from his bowtie and misses. “Oh.”

“Oh,” Ignis agrees. “Well, that didn’t quite work.” He doesn’t move to fix it, though he squeezes Eren’s arm above his bicep gently. “I’ll see you in the dorms. If you’ll excuse me, my job does come first tonight…”

“Like every night,” Eren comments, but it’s without malice.

Noctis is glad to be gone.

 

* * *

 

“You’re not really going to take me home, are you?” Prompto asks.

“No,” Ignis says. “Unless you would prefer it?”

“Hell no,” Prompto says. He grins and nudges Noctis’ in the side. “Video games and pizza?”

“Eren seems like a tool,” Noctis says.

Ignis shoots him a dark look through the rearview mirror. “Noctis,” he warns.

“No, I agree with Noctis,” Prompto says. “Did you see the way he tried to kiss you in front of us? Totally trying to stake his claim. Besides you lied to him.”

“I’m hardly going to take advice from two individuals who have never been on a real date,” Ignis says and Noctis can practically hear the roll of his eyes. “And it’s none of your concern.”

“It kind of is tonight,” Prompto says. “What if Noctis had needed you but you were too busy necking?”

“Noctis always comes first,” Ignis says with conviction.

Prompto elbows Noctis roughly and wiggles his eyebrows, like Ignis’ devotion to his duty is supposed to  _ mean _ something when Noctis has been hearing it all of his life.

“Wanna sleepover, too?” Prompto asks.

“I will keep you company, for a while,” Ignis consents.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second part tonight as well because I should have posted the first part yesterday but I'm chronically lazy. Sorry.

Prompto has long since passed out in Noctis’ bed, sprawled across the entire thing like he owns it. It’s not a battle to get him to share the space but Noctis will have to accept the warm cuddles that come with bed sharing with him. It isn’t so awful most of the time.  
  
“You should get some sleep,” Ignis says, quietly. He’s finished tidying up their pizza boxes and pop bottles and sets the bags by the door to take with him.  
  
Noctis knows he should, but he can’t bring himself to move from his spot on the couch. He can see Ignis everywhere in the penthouse from here and he likes it that way. “About Eren.”  
  
Ignis sighs heavily. He sits down across from Noctis in one of the armchairs and meets his gaze. “My world revolves around you, Noctis, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be involved with other people.”  
  
“I don’t like him,” Noctis says. There’s a lump forming in his throat but he can’t let himself give into the juvenile antics that let him get his way with anyone else. “Please don’t go out with him again.”  
  
“You don’t even know him,” Ignis says. He hesitates. “He’s not a good conversationalist, though, and he lacks a refined palate.”  
  
Noctis squirms. He can see himself in the very definition Ignis is giving and his heart sinks. He may be a prince, but you need more than that for a lasting relationship. Noctis doesn’t think there’s enough to his personality to keep Ignis interested even before the lack of the pull for intimacy in his veins becomes an issue.  
  
“Do you guys…” Noctis lets the words trail off. He can’t bring himself to say _fuck_ because he doesn’t want to imagine Ignis in bed with anyone. “Are you - ?”  
  
Ignis meets Noctis’ gaze and doesn’t look away. For a long while he’s quiet, like maybe he’s trying to figure out if this is an appropriate conversation to be having with Noctis of all people when they both know it isn’t. Noctis refuses to look away even though he can feel his palms start to sweat.  
  
“I’m not a virgin,” Ignis says, eventually. He pulls his glasses off and cleans them with a handkerchief hidden away in a pocket. “Though I expect Eren was hoping tonight we would consummate this thing between us.”  
  
“Don’t do it,” Noctis breathes, his voice barely a whisper.  
  
Ignis closes his eyes and sighs, glasses folded neatly in his hands. “You should head to bed, your highness. You have brunch with your father at eleven.”  
  
It’s not a definitive answer and Noctis knows when he’s being dismissed. He hates it, but he doesn’t have it in him to fight Ignis. He knows he doesn’t get to control Ignis personal life or dictate anything about him but Noctis doesn’t have to like it.  
  
Noctis stands up and feels beyond exhausted as he crosses the room. He doesn’t bother to say goodnight or goodbye before closing the door and crawling into bed besides Prompto.  
  


* * *

  
  
There’s fruit salad in a bowl in the kitchen and Noctis wrinkles his nose. “Ignis, I don’t like blackberries or red grapes. Or raspberries.” He hesitates, and adds, “I don’t like strawberries, either.”  
  
“Then it’s a good thing I made that for Prompto,” Ignis replies. He’s got his sleeves rolled up as he washes the knife and cutting board he used and Noctis has to fight the urge to reach out and touch. “Apparently the little glutton has a healthy side.”  
  
Prompto can devour a burger and fries faster than anyone else Noctis knows but he is endlessly gnawing on healthy snacks in between classes. Plus, Noctis has seen all the early morning running selfies he posts.  
  
Noctis wishes he had that kind of dedication.  
  
“I don’t get breakfast?” Noctis asks.  
  
“I can make you a fruit smoothie,” Ignis offers. “But we need to leave to for the Citadel soon.”  
  
Noctis rubs his wrist and wonders where he left the watch his father gave him this time. “I should go get Prompto up…”  
  
“The brunch was just for you and your father,” Ignis says. He dries his hands and starts to roll down his sleeves. “Though, I’m sure we can find something to keep him entertained with if he wishes to stay tonight as well.”  
  
Noctis means to turn around and wake up his best friend, but the traitorous part of his brain has him stepping closer to Ignis instead. He grabs the front of his buttondown, fingers twisting the starched fabric and presses his face into the crook of Ignis’ neck. Noctis just breathes in his scent and relishes in his warmth.  
  
“Noctis…” Ignis breathes. His hand hovers over Noctis’ hip, fingertips barely brushing the slip of skin between his sweats and tank top.  
  
“Well this is awkward,” Prompto says, far too chipper for someone who just ruined the moment. “Oh, hey. Is that fruit salad?”  
  


* * *

  
  
They brunch in the garden at the same little wrought iron table they always eat at. It’s close enough to the pond that Noctis can stare at the koi when he gets tired of staring at his father. He picks at his waffles but not even the powdered sugar and crème fraîche makes the fruit bowl appetizing.  
  
Regis watches Noctis roll a blueberry around his plate, but for once doesn’t chide him about his dietary hangups.  
  
“I did want to discuss something important with you,” Regis says, once their plates are cleared and orange juice topped off. He waves off the staff and waits until they are alone.  
  
Noctis groans and tries to melt back into his seat. “The garden is suppose to be _sacred_ ,” he accuses and he’s absolutely not pouting.  
  
“This isn’t about your studies or the kingdom,” Regis says. He sighs heavily and scratches his chin thoughtfully. “It’s of a personal nature.”  
  
He’s going to ask Noctis why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, _again_. Like Noctis hasn’t been trying to make it unquestionably clear that he has no interested in dating someone just for the sake of making them the future queen. He tries not to think about his future or the fate of Insomnia, if he can help it. It’s too much.  
  
Noctis hates to think about the fact someday soon his dad is going to die.  
  
“There’s no tactful way to ask this,” Regis says. “Noctis, do you prefer the company of men?”  
  
Noctis blinks. He looks away from the shimmering surface of the pond to stare at his father and it takes a moment for his brain to process exactly what his father is trying to ask. “Are you asking if I’m gay?”  
  
Regis sighs and slumps back in his chair. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yes, Noctis. I was attempting to be respectful about it. You understand I love you no matter what, but it puts us - _you_ \- in a precarious situation.”  
  
“I’m not,” Noctis says. At least, he doesn’t think he is. He has no drive to give him a preference for men or women. The feelings bubbling in his chest for Ignis have nothing to do with what’s between his legs and everything to do with who Ignis is as a person. What he represents. And the fact he looks like he’d be able to make Noctis feel small and safe while laying together in bed, long limbs tangled together. “I don’t… Did Ignis say something?”  
  
“Should I speak to Ignis about this?” Regis asks. He looks at Noctis carefully, his expression unreadable.  
  
“No,” Noctis says, though he thinks _probably_. Ignis understands what Noctis is thinking and feeling even before Noctis does most days.  
  
“I love you,” Regis says, again. He looks tired. “I want you to be happy. Even if you have to end up in a political marriage - “  
  
“ _Dad_ ,” Noctis groans, covering his face with his hands.  
  
Regis carries on like he isn’t embarrassing his son or breaking the covenant of the garden. “ - I would like it to be with someone you can live with and lets you keep your lover on the side.”  
  
“I don’t have a lover,” Noctis says, indignant. He doesn’t know how many times he can say he’s _not interested_ before his father and everyone else around Noctis starts to get the point.  
  
“That’s the part that is starting to concern me,” Regis says, mostly to himself. He sighs. “Did you want some trifle?”  
  
Obviously.  


* * *

  
  
  
Ignis is watching Gladiolus throw Prompto around the training room while waiting for Noctis to finish. He smiles warmly at him despite the awkwardness of the last few days. “Did you wish to join in?”  
  
“Please,” Prompto begs. “I can’t keep up with Gladio. He’s literally killing me.”  
  
“Figuratively,” Gladiolus says. He raps Prompto’s ass with the training sword before pointing it at Noctis. “You should bring him by more often. It might be good for you to train with someone your size.”  
  
Prompto flops back onto the thick mats and groans, his practice sword rolling away from him. “I don’t see how you do this for _fun_.”  
  
“I don’t,” Noctis says. “I don’t have a choice. How did Gladio trick you, anyway?”  
  
“Apparently the kid is having problems losing the last of his baby fat,” Gladiolus says, grinning wickedly. “Told him it takes more than running a few miles every day to actually tone.”  
  
“I regret every second of it,” Prompto says loudly. “My arms are going to fall off tonight.”  
  
“Suck it up, buttercup,” Gladiolus says. “You get used to the burn and that’s when you know you’re getting better.”  
  
Noctis groans and he can feel the ghost pains in his arms from sparring sessions with Gladiolus. He doesn’t envy Prompto’s pain tonight, but it isn’t going to be the end of the world for him. “Can we get burgers?”  
  
“You just ate,” Ignis says with a frown. He would never accuse Regis of not feeding his son but Regis doesn’t have the kitchen staff cater their menus around Noctis’ picky habits. Ignis spoils him, all things considered.  
  
“I could go for lunch,” Prompto says, sitting up and crossing his legs. “Can I take a shower first?”  
  
“I assure you, that was going to be a requirement,” Ignis says in a deadpan. The corner of his lips twitch up in a smile and it makes Prompto break out into a wide grin.  
  
Noctis bumps his shoulder into his advisor’s side and tries not to feel jealous.

 

* * *

 

  
It’s not until after Ignis has gone home for the night that Prompto pulls a notebook out of his backpack. “So, about Ignis.”  
  
Noctis tightens the blanket around him and eyes Prompto warily. “What about Ignis?”  
  
“Obviously everything is about Ignis,” Prompto says. He joins Noctis on the bed and sits so their knees touch. “Operation Seduce Specs. OSS. Codename: Ocelot?”  
  
“We are not calling it that,” Noctis says. He scowls but Prompto seems immune to it. “I’m not seducing anyone.”  
  
“You probably couldn’t if you tried,” Prompto says, winking. He taps his pen against his mouth and stares at Noctis. “I’m thinking your best bet is stealth dating him.”  
  
As much as Noctis is starting to hate this little game, he’s intrigued. “Stealth dating?”  
  
“You know, take him on dates but don’t let him know they’re dates,” Prompto says. He looks at Noctis like he’s dense and Noctis would hit him but he’s warm in his cocoon. “Like, he wants to try that vegan alternative restaurant and he’s got to like going to the movies or minigolf or something.”  
  
“Ignis isn’t a vegan,” Noctis says, frowning. Noctis isn’t even sure he can find anything at a vegan restaurant that he would want to eat. He hates beans and vegetables more than anything. He can’t imagine Ignis playing a round of minigolf either.  
  
“Pretty sure you’re supposed to open up to the other person’s interests,” Prompto says. He isn’t one to talk, considering he can never even work up the nerve to ask any girls out. Even the ones that would probably say yes. “Ignis likes cooking and judging other people’s cooking. Ergo, weird vegan restaurant he wants to try.”  
  
“How do I know he even wants to go to a vegan restaurant and you’re not fucking with me?” Noctis asks through narrowed eyes.  
  
“Because I pay attention when people talk about food?” Prompto asks. He starts jotting down notes in his notebook and Noctis doesn’t try to keep up with the messy scrawl. “I wish I had an older boyfriend. Can Ignis buy alcohol?”  
  
“He’s got a few more months before he’s twenty,” Noctis says. “I’m not getting him drunk.”  
  
“Well, I don’t know how fast you move so we’re keeping it on the list,” Prompto says. He tucks the pen behind his ear and scratches the back of his neck. “This is a good start, right?”  
  
Prompto holds the notebook out for Noctis to take and he’s as curious as he is wary.

  1. _stealth dates_
  2. _stalk him_
  3. _fake sex pollen_
  4. _actual sex pollen?_
  5. _get him drunk_
  6. _get abs_



  
“Hey!” Noctis says, smacking Prompto in the knee with the notebook. “My abs are more defined than yours at least!”  
  
“For now,” Prompto says smugly. “Gladio said he’d help me.”  
  
“And you will definitely regret that,” Noctis huffs at him. “Why is sex pollen even on the list? It doesn’t exist outside of porn, you asshole.”  
  
“I refuse to believe sex pollen doesn’t exist,” Prompto says definitively. He flops down on the bed and stretches out. “I think that lists is a really good start though. You might even get in Ignis’ pants before you’re your dad’s age.”  
  
Noctis drops the notebook on the floor and flops down next to Prompto. His warmth is comforting even if he is a raging asshole tonight. “It’s more complicated than that. Ignis is my advisor. I’m pretty sure he could be exiled or something if he’s caught in bed with me.”  
  
“So don’t get caught?” Prompto asks, frowning. “I mean, you have your own apartment and Ignis is over here all the time anyway. It can’t be that hard.”  
  
“I don’t think it’s that easy…” He lets his voice trail off and he scooches closer to Prompto, though he doesn’t share any of his blanket. “Besides, my dad already thinks I’m gay. He’d just be more suspicious.”  
  
“What? Really, dude?” Prompto says. He makes a warding gesture with his hands. “We can’t share a bed if you’re gay. That would be gay.”  
  
Noctis shoves him towards the edge of the bed and huffs. “Go turn off the light, Prom. I’m tired and you’re closer.”  
  
“You’re spoiled is what you are,” Prompto says, but he rolls out of bed and hits the light switch anyways. “And you better plan on sharing that blanket or I will lick your face and sabotage your plans for seduction.”  
  
“Can we please stop calling it seduction?” Noctis sighs. He closes his eyes and loosens the blanket enough that Prompto can crawl under it. “It’s not like that.”  
  
“I get it, you’re soulmates or something, not fast friends, blah blah,” Prompto says around a yawn. He is close enough that his knee brushes against Noctis, but he won’t close the distance until he’s fast asleep and desperate for warmth.  
  
Noctis should tell Prompto the truth. Under the cover of darkness, it might even be safe. But Prompto asks so many questions and Noctis just doesn’t have any answers to give him. He doesn’t have any answers for himself or even to know what questions to ask. He doesn’t know why he lacks the same thrum through his veins that apparently runs rampant through Prompto’s, but he does.  
  
Noctis doesn’t want in Ignis’ pants. Not right now, anyway. Maybe that will change when they're together or maybe Ignis will expect it from him and maybe Noctis will like it when it's with him. Right now, Noctis isn’t worried about any of that. That’s future Noctis’ problem. He has to convince Ignis to give him a chance before he worries about all the little details.  
  
Right now, all Noctis wants is to get to brush his soft hair behind his ears and maybe kiss his bowed lips and lie tangled together in the bed he’s tangled together with Prompto in.  
  
He doesn’t have the words to say any of that though and he doesn’t know if Prompto would understand if he did. So he settles for sighing and saying, “good night, Prom.”  
  
“Night,” Prompto agrees around another large yawn. “Thanks for letting me stay over again.”  
  
“Anytime,” Noctis says, and he means it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at writing feelings but finally we are moving in that direction. I didn't want this fic to get to 20k before we even got to the first kiss so things had to be sped up a little, but it seemed like a good time for Noctis to have a breakdown. Nothing ever goes his way anyway, right?

“I’m bored. Do you want to go see a movie?” Noctis asks, pushing his pasta around his plate lethargically.  
  
Ignis hesitates, fork halfway to his mouth. “Was there something in particular you wanted to see?”  
  
_Not really_ , Noctis thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He’d looked at the schedule earlier and everything seemed like it’s for kids or couples. “There’s one of those shark movies out this week? It starts in about an hour.”  
  
“That seems reasonable, I suppose,” Ignis says, checking his watch. “It should only take a few minutes to get to the theatre so there is time to finish eating and tidy up.”  
  
Noctis blinks. He thinks Prompto might have been onto something about this stealth dating thing because Ignis didn’t even question his motives. He takes a bite of pasta and says, “Okay.”  


* * *

  
  
Ignis buys tickets on the black credit card the accounting department gave him for Noctis related expenses and he carefully tucks the receipt into his breast pocket. When Noctis asks for a frozen cola, he pulls it out with a sigh and purchases that, too.  
  
“Where did you want to sit?” Ignis asks.  
  
Noctis grabs his wrist and tugs him towards the back of the theatre. He wants to be far enough away from people he doesn’t have to listen to their whispers even though he has no interest in the movie itself. Noctis just wants to be alone with Ignis and this is kind of like a date. The desire for intimate separation is justified.  
  
Taking a sip of his frozen cola, Noctis pats the seat next to him. Like Ignis would possibly choose to sit anywhere else.  
  
Ignis looks more amused than anything. He looks out of place in his sweater vest and button down, even with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows, and Noctis wants to grab him by the soft fabric and never let go. He takes his seat and crosses his legs at the knees. “It smells like stale popcorn.”  
  
“It’s a movie theatre,” Noctis says. He knocks his shoulder into Ignis’ and doesn’t move away, savoring the warmth. His heart thuds in his chest when Ignis doesn’t pull away, either. “It’s part of the ambiance.”  
  
“It’s poor cleaning habits,” Ignis says. He smiles at Noctis, a barely there quirk of his lips, a gesture just for him in the dimming theatre.  
  
Noctis is screwed.

 

* * *

  
  
  
The movie is terrible. Noctis presses his face into Ignis’ shoulder as the credits roll and he tries to forget about the forced romantic subplot. Nothing is more romantic than expressing your undying love while people are murdered by sharks around you, apparently.  
  
“I feel personally victimized for having to pay to see that,” Noctis groans into Ignis’ shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”  
  
“Well, it certainly was a unique way to spend an evening,” Ignis offers. He would probably be back in his dorm room studying by now, if Noctis hadn’t dragged him to the movies. Or watching Noctis play video games because as much as he likes to be by himself he hates to be alone. “Next time, let’s just rent something.”  
  
The implication that there could be a next time makes Noctis’ face flush and his palms sweaty. He wouldn’t be opposed to watching a movie alone with Ignis in the comfort of his apartment. It sounds like a good date night.  
  
The lights flicker back on slowly and Ignis checks his watch. “We should probably get you home. You have school in the morning.”  
  
Noctis sighs and pulls away from Ignis. He’s already feeling cold at the lack of contact and he wishes he’d thought to bring a hoodie. Maybe he’ll come up with an excuse and steal one of Ignis’ the next time they’re both training at the Citadel. That would be nice.

 

* * *

  
  
  
“I think the stealth date plan is going to work,” Noctis tells Prompto, leaning in conspiringly. “Ignis didn’t even question it.”  
  
“You guys go to the vegan place?” Prompto asks.  
  
“Movie,” Noctis says. He smiles faintly. “It was terrible.”  
  
Prompto looks at Noctis like he’s not sure what to say and drums his fingers on the tabletop. “It felt like a real date though? Like you _could_ have held hands or kissed?”  
  
“Yeah,” Noctis says. There’s an anxious thrum in his veins because he’s not sure he knows the appropriate time to do either of those things but he’s sure he can figure it out. There’s probably like a million guides on the internet on how to go on dates and not be creepy.  
  
As long as the advice isn’t _act natural_ , Noctis should be fine.

 

* * *

  
  
Training with Gladiolus is physically exhausting.  
  
Even after spending two hours getting knocking around the room by him and showering off the sweat, Noctis is a little breathless and sore. He’s mostly gotten over the urge to flinch every time Gladiolus comes up from behind but he’s been whacked with too many training blades to ever truly forget. He gets ghost pains of the time Gladiolus nearly dislocated his shoulder.  
  
“Can I ask you something?” Noctis asks, eyeing Gladiolus carefully. “That you have to swear on the Amicitia name never to repeat?”  
  
“That is really now how being your Shield works,” Gladiolus says, “but go on.”  
  
Noctis runs his fingers through his damp hair, trying to get it to lay the way he wants. Anything to avoid making eye contact with Gladiolus right now. “How well do you know Ignis?”  
  
“He’s the tall one, right? Glasses? Funny accent?” Gladiolus asks. He ruffles Noctis’ hair, ruining his hard work and laughing at the indignant squawk. “I’d say pretty well. Dad’s been working on helping our fighting style’s be more cohesive, to better protect you. Dude is fierce with a polearm and deadly with daggers. Insists on pairing wine and beer with every meal but you know, everyone has their quirks. Why, you gonna ask him out?”  
  
Noctis is breathless and can’t think of anything to do but punch Gladiolus’ in the chest. Not nearly hard enough to hurt Gladiolus because Noctis doesn’t want to hurt himself. He hadn’t known it was that obvious and it’s _different_ with Gladiolus knowing his secret than Prompto. Prompto is sworn to secrecy through best friendship. Gladiolus has to share important events with Clarus and that’s mortifying.  
  
“Okay, I was kidding,” Gladiolus says. He pinches Noctis’ side hard. “Specs said you’ve been weirdly protective of him lately.”  
  
“Eren was a tool,” Noctis says hotly. “Ignis deserves way better.”  
  
“Eh,” Gladiolus says. He shrugs. He looks at Noctis then, really looks at him, and frowns. “You know, my dad asked me if I knew if you were gay or not.”  
  
The idea that Regis had talked about his suspicions with anyone sets a heavy weight in Noctis’ stomach. That wasn’t an idle moment of curiosity on his father’s part, it was a genuine concern. The fact that even Clarus is in on it now certainly doesn’t make the issue easier to deal with.  
  
Noctis knows he concerns his father with his poor study habits and less than engaged attitude when it comes to training with him or with Gladiolus and he’s sure Ignis has a slew of complaints of his own, but he hates the idea that his father might actually be _worried_ about him. For all the wrong reasons, too.  
  
“What did you tell him?” Noctis asks. He’s almost scared to know the answer.  
  
“That I wouldn’t be surprised if you and Prompto were banging with the way you two are hanging off of each other, but I doubt it,” Gladiolus says. He shrugs again, clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation is going. “I told him I can’t recall you ever making a comment about wanting to bang anyone six ways from Sunday, but we don’t normally talk about that crap.”  
  
Noctis is relieved, he thinks.  
  
“Well,” Gladiolus says, letting the word drag out. He fixes Noctis with a pointed gaze and smirks. “Until I realized a certain prince has got a massive crush on his advisor.”  
  
Gladiolus _knows_ and Noctis is screwed.  
  
“You can’t tell him,” Noctis pleads. His hands are shaking and his palms are sweating. He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to maintain eye contact with Gladiolus or stare literally anywhere else and pretend his secret hasn’t been outed. “You _definitely_ can’t tell your dad!”  
  
“Relax, Noct,” Gladiolus says. He throws an arm around Noctis’ shoulders and draws him in tight. “I’m not going to out you to anyone. Though, I’m pretty sure Iggy of all people already knows.”  
  
Noctis slumps in Gladiolus’ tight grip. _Well, fuck._

 

* * *

  
  
“Are you feeling well?” Ignis asks. He touches the back of his wrist to Noctis’ forehead and frowns when Noctis pushes him away.  
  
“He’s fine,” Gladiolus says dismissively.  
  
Ignis gives him a dark look before reaching for Noctis’ shoulders and gently guiding him from the training room. “If you don’t mind waiting in the car, I can run into the store and get something to make you soup with.”  
  
“I’m fine,” Noctis says weakly. He doesn’t pull away though. He likes the warm, heavy weight of Ignis at his side, one arm wrapped around his bony shoulders as he tries to urge him along. He presses his face into Ignis’ side and sighs.  
  
If Gladiolus is telling the truth, if Ignis _knows_ , than he isn’t letting it show. It’s not interfering with his duties. It says something about his character because Noctis doesn’t think he’d be handling it nearly this maturely.  
  
“You coddle him,” Gladiolus says.  
  
Ignis shoots Gladiolus a dark look but doesn’t say anything as he tugs Noctis away.

 

* * *

  
  
“It will take time for the soup to cook, so you might as well take a bath and get ready for bed,” Ignis says. He sets the bags on the counter and looks at Noctis again. “I can help you with your homework after dinner.”  
  
“You don’t have to do all this,” Noctis says, quietly. He wants to curl in on himself and disappear but it doesn’t happen no matter how hard he tries. He can feel the thrum of the crystal’s magic in his veins and hear the thudding of his heart in his chest and he feels ready to pass out. “You don’t have to take care of me. You can put yourself first sometimes, you know.”  
  
“You misunderstand,” Ignis replies. He steps closer to Noctis, then hesitates. Like maybe he wants to touch Noctis but he’s not sure he’s allowed. He never initiates contact unless Noctis’ well being is in question. He continues, barely a whisper. “Driving you to your lessons at the Citadel and making sure you’re healthy and fed is my duty. Everything else is because I _want_ to.”  
  
Noctis really doesn’t understand what any of that is supposed to mean. He doesn’t see how anyone could _want_ to take care of him. He’s chronically lazy some days and incapable of working up the will to clean up after or cook for himself. He puts off doing his homework and he will whine his way through lessons with Gladiolus or his father. He lives in jeans and boots and his favorite hoodie and is too lazy to get his hair trimmed.  
  
Ignis is the exact opposite of that. Ignis could do so much better.  
  
His head is spinning and Noctis rubs his eyes tiredly. “I think I will go take that bath.”  
  
“Right,” Ignis says. He wets his lips and rolls up his sleeves. “I’ll make dinner, then. Take your time.”

 

* * *

  
  
Ignis _knows_ \-- but what does he _know_?  
  
That Noctis thinks he’s helplessly in love with his advisor? That he craves Ignis’ warmth and support and wants to spend the rest of forever tangled together trading lazy kisses in bed? Or does he think he knows something Noctis is not, something he can’t be. He’s seventeen, yeah, so he’s probably being immature and desperate about it but he’s _not_ thinking with his penis. He’s not Prompto.  
  
There’s no way to know for sure without asking and the last thing Noctis wants to do is barge out of the bathroom and ask Ignis if he knows that Noctis thinks he’s in love with him. Which is not something Noctis can do.  
  
It’s the only possible explanation for the way his palms get sweaty and his heart races whenever they’re alone together. Why Prompto thought they were secretly dating and why even his father of all people thinks he’s gay. Which he might be, he guesses, since Ignis is the only person who has ever made him feel this way.  
  
But Ignis said he does all these things for Noctis because he _wants_ to. Which means he wants to share dinner with Noctis and help him with his homework. Wants to spend all night on the couch studying from his phone while Noctis uses his lap as a pillow and plays his video games until Ignis insists that he go to bed. Why he’s here til midnight sometimes and back by six thirty the next day.  
  
Noctis doesn’t deserve Ignis. They’re not even dating and he’s already proving himself to be the shittiest, neediest boyfriend ever.  
  
Of course, assuming Ignis even means what Noctis wants him to mean, it’s still probably against the rules or at the very least taboo. Ignis is his advisor. Has been trained to guide and assist Noctis since they were both kids. Not to mention Noctis is expected to have kids and he’s pretty sure they have to be blood related for the crystal to react. Ignis could probably write a book on the political ramifications alone, if Noctis asked him to.  
  
And there’s the terrifying elephant in the room that Noctis tries to avoid thinking about at all costs: Ignis has sex and presumably enjoys it and Noctis just _doesn’t_. He doesn’t know if he would enjoy it with Ignis and he’s not even entirely sure he wants to _try_. There is no heated thrum under his skin at the thought of sexual contact with Ignis, no matter the ridiculous situations he brings to mind ( _in the back of the sleek, black car Regis’ father bought Ignis for learning to drive, in Noctis’ childhood bedroom, in his kitchen or on his couch, in the sacred space of his mother's beloved garden_ ).  
  
There is a chance that Noctis could fight for this, beg and plead with Ignis to give in to this tension between them, only for them to not be compatible. He’s heard Gladiolus joke about it before; girls he’s dated with sex drives a million times higher or lower than his own. The idea that he could just not be enough for Ignis is equally as terrifying as the idea that Ignis could love him, too.  
  
There’s too many possible outcomes, too many things that could possibly go wrong. Noctis has no idea what he’s supposed to do in this situation and it’s frustrating and exhausting.  
  
Sighing, Noctis sinks down in the tub until his knobby knees are sticking out from under the surface and debates drowning himself. It beats the alternative of having to confront his feelings.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is late because I am a garbage human being and find it incredibly difficult to do anything after I get off work. I'm sorry this is late. Also that it's mostly dialogue and that feelings are hard. Bah humbug.

The soup is simmering on the stove, making the entire apartment smell rich and hearty. Ignis has made himself comfortable on a kitchen counter, fingers tapping at his phone screen and a look of concentration on his face. He’s probably texting Gladiolus, or worse, Noctis’ father.  
  
There’s a serious conversation waiting as soon as Noctis clears his throat and he kind of regrets grabbing the pajamas at the top of his pile. He’s not sure he can convince Ignis to love him wearing chocobo pajama pants and a faded blitzball tee. Noctis has no idea why he does this to himself.  
  
“Noctis,” Ignis says, startled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you drain the tub.” He slides off the counter so gracefully but he looks genuinely flustered. It’s a weird look on him but Noctis kind of likes it. “Go ahead and sit down, I’ll serve you…”  
  
Now that he’s been caught out, Noctis doesn’t have much of a choice but to pad across the apartment barefoot in his pajamas and sit down at the table. He fidgets with the hem of his shirt until Ignis sets a soup bowl in front of him and just breathes in the warm smell. It’s the same recipe Ignis makes every time he worries Noctis is feeling under the weather and there is a comfort in the familiarity alone.  
  
“Do we have to talk about - “ Noctis doesn’t know what to call their messed up relationship is and he isn’t sure he’d be able to voice it around the lump in his throat anyway. He swallows and busies himself with a spoonful of soup.  
  
Ignis sits across from him and fiddles with his spoon. “I had thought we would wait until after dinner, but now is as good a time as any.”  
  
Noctis chews his noodles and waits for Ignis to continue. When it becomes apparent he has no intention of doing any such thing, Noctis swallows and says, “I like you.”  
  
There’s a faint smile to Ignis’ bowed lips and a slight flush to his cheeks. “It has come to my attention, yes,” Ignis says. He puts his spoon down and his hands fall in his lap. “I… am increasingly fond of you as well. But this is a delicate situation.”  
  
“Because I have to get married and have a baby,” Noctis says. His hands are shaking but his words are surprisingly steady. “I’m only reminded of the fact everytime I visit my father.”  
  
“Even if we ignored your age and my responsibilities for the time being, at most we’d have five years to enjoy each other’s company,” Ignis says. He stares at Noctis, his gaze unwavering. “What would happen to the kingdom were we to fall in love and unable to bear being apart?”  
  
“You’ll always be my advisor!” Noctis says, with more force than he means to. He can feel his face flush slightly and he drops his gaze to his soup, trying to ignore the sense of impending dread. “You’d just officially be like, my side chick or something…”  
  
“Your side chick,” Ignis repeats.  
  
It’s clearly the worst possible thing Noctis could have said given Ignis’ tone and the sudden pursing of his lips and Noctis regrets it immediately. He opens his mouth to fix it and snaps it shut again.  
  
_Shit_ , Noctis thinks. He rubs at his face in irritation and embarrassment. Why is this so hard?  
  
“I just - “ Noctis starts. He tries to think of a good counter argument or defense. He remembers something Regis said and his heart thuds in his ribcage hard enough it has to be audible. “My dad - he said, if I was gay, he’d make sure he’d find me a wife who’d be okay with it. A lesbian, probably. I know a lesbian. Two, ‘cause I guess her girlfriend is one, too.”  
  
Ignis looks like there is a lot he wants to say but he isn’t quite sure where he wants to start. “Your solution to your sexuality and potentially a relationship is to enter a political marriage where you and your wife have no attraction to each other but share an obligation to the throne?”  
  
It sounds like a pretty solid plan to Noctis. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to get a girl pregnant, but they make drugs for that and he’s not averse to getting a little drunk if it helps. “I guess?”  
  
“And this was your father’s suggestion,” Ignis continues.  
  
“Basically, yeah,” Noctis says. Though now that he thinks about it, his father might have implied more than coming out and saying, but that’s still fine. It’s fine. He understood the gist of it and he’s pretty proud of myself. “And well, it has to be a secret, anyways, so we don’t have to tell anyone - “  
  
“That doesn’t change the fact you’re only seventeen and I’m almost three years older than you,” Ignis says. “People might think I’m taking advantage of you, or vice versa.”  
  
Ignis doesn’t seem to understand the concept of a _secret_ but Noctis doesn’t bring it up. He presses his fingers against his temple, trying to massage away the ache and keep it from getting worse. This conversation isn’t going the way he had hoped it would and he needs to _think_. He doesn’t understand why it should be so complicated for them to carry on as they have been. It was fun going to the movies together and he likes the idea of snuggling together on the couch. Why does that have to change?  
  
It isn’t like Ignis isn’t with Noctis almost every waking hour of the day, as is. No one would be suspicious if they spent time together doing more _couple_ -y things. Noctis is allowed to want to unwind and he hates to be alone. It makes sense to bring Ignis with him to movies and restaurants. It isn’t like Noctis is asking Ignis to move in with him or stay the night all of the time.  
  
For the life of him, Noctis can’t figure out why his age is such an issue.  
  
Making a frustrated sound, Noctis looks up at Ignis. He’s not pouting. He can’t pout, not right now. “I just want to be with you and not worry about you sleeping with anyone who doesn’t deserve you.” He has to fight the urge to drop his gaze and wet his lips. “I like myself when I’m with you and I _know_ you deserve better than me, but I don’t care. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Noctis,” Ignis says. He reaches across the small table and covers one of Noctis’ hands with his own. He doesn’t say anything for a long time. Just stares into Noctis’ soul through his eyes until Noctis is forced to drop his gaze and stare at Ignis’ well manicured nails. “Just because we want something doesn’t mean we can have it.”  
  
“We can at least try, right?” Noctis asks. He pulls his hand out from under Ignis’ to tangle their fingers together. It’s such a strange feeling, one that sends shivers down his spine and makes him long for closeness. “The movie was terrible, but it was _nice_. And Prompto said you wanted to go to that vegan place - “  
  
“Noctis,” Ignis starts.  
  
“Just one more date,” Noctis says. “I will eat weird vegan food for you. I won’t even complain. I’ll look _nice_ for a change and I won’t bitch about vegetables and it will just be the two of us. Like a real secret date. Please?”  
  
For a while, Ignis is quiet. He looks conflicted and Noctis hates being the reason for it but if he’s going to expose himself he’s going to make sure Ignis sees just how badly Noctis wants this. He needs to know what he’s doing to Noctis. Ignis needs to know the truth. Sighing heavily, Ignis finally smiles and says, “okay.”  
  
Noctis’ grip tightens on Ignis’ hand in his own and he can feel his stomach lurch in excitement and nerves. He’s startled by the gentle sweeping of Ignis’ thumb over his own, oddly soothing, and Noctis looks up at him almost shyly. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to say now that a cold sweat is breaking out over his body and he’s ready to pass out for a week.  
  
This is a victory and Noctis is oddly exhausted from it. It’s satisfying in it’s own way.  
  
“Eat your soup, Noctis,” Ignis says, and it’s so familiar and _Ignis_ it makes Noctis’ heart ache.  


* * *

  
“Do you have to go already?” Noctis asks. He’s about five seconds from crashing into his bed and passing out, and he’s not opposed to the idea of Ignis joining him, at least for a little while.  
  
“We both have class in the morning and I have a report due,” Ignis replies. He touches Noctis’ arm, just above his elbow, and looks a little marveled that he’s being allowed this casual contact. He sighs softly when Noctis wraps his arms around him in a tight hug and presses a soft kiss against his temple.  
  
Noctis’ knees go weak and he’s glad he’s leaning into Ignis space because _Ignis kissed him_. Not a real kiss, at least by Prompto’s definition Noctis is sure, but a kiss. Soft and sweet and just for him.  
  
“Sleep,” Ignis says softly, prying Noctis’ arms from around his waist and guiding him to his bedroom. “I’ll be by in the morning to make breakfast and drive you to class.”  
  
“And we can talk about our date,” Noctis says. It’s a very important detail and he can’t let Ignis forget it now, not when they've barely sussed out that it’s going to happen at all.  
  
“Yes, that too,” Ignis promises. He gently nudges Noctis towards his bedroom door, his large palm warm in the small of Noctis’ back. “In the morning.”

 

* * *

 

 

Noctis dreams about the warmth of Ignis’ body tangled with his own. Ignis’ breathing is soft and even, his face a few inches from Noctis’ own, his pale bowed lips close enough Noctis can touch them with his fingertips. He wants to get lost in the warmth that Ignis radiates and the gentle rise and fall of his chest and the lean thigh he has wedged between Noctis’ own.  
  
His heart is hammering in his chest and Noctis thinks _fuck_ because he definitely did not deserve to be blessed with this perfect specimen of a man in front of him.

 

* * *

 

 

Despite the fact there are pancakes waiting for him and it’s Ignis who shakes him awake gently, Noctis is not at all prepared to get out of bed in the morning. Six thirty is an ungodly time to be expected to be functioning and Noctis can only imagine when Ignis’ own alarm goes off.  
  
“You need to get ready for school,” Ignis says, gently. He’s undoubtedly already laid out Noctis’ uniform and made sure his bag is in order because he’s a Godsend and Noctis is a horrible person.  
  
“You should tell people we’re both sick and go back to bed with me,” Noctis says around a yawn. He wiggles out from under his blanket and sits on the edge of his bed. “It will be warm and safe and there will be sleep.”  
  
“I’m well aware how you feel about your beauty rest,” Ignis says. He sounds more amused than anything and Noctis wonders if his advisor has always been this gentle about rousing him in the mornings. “Breakfast is waiting. Hurry up.”  
  
Noctis yawns, barely remembering to cover his mouth to be polite. He stumbles to the main room of the apartment and drops down at the table. “We gonna talk about our date?”  
  
“I was starting to wonder if you remembered our discussion last night,” Ignis says. He sets a plate of pancakes in front of Noctis and a glass of juice. He sits across from him, but doesn’t eat. He never eats breakfast with Noctis. “Tonight you have training and dinner with your father.”  
  
Noctis groans. He doesn’t look forward to the exhaustion that comes with his father’s magical lessons and hopes dinner isn’t an awkward, stilted affair in the normal dining room. He much rather they eat in the garden even if Regis did forget they were on sacred ground last time. The garden is peaceful.  
  
He picks at his pancakes for a minute before taking a large bite. He sighs and rubs at his eyes tiredly while he chews. “Tomorrow I have training with Gladio, but we can go after?”  
  
Ignis makes a thoughtful noise and checks his schedule on his phone. “I was thinking we could go to the burger place you’re alarmingly fond of,” Ignis says. “Not only when you be miserable at the vegan place, it would stand out far less if we went to a place you regularly frequent.”  
  
That seems like a solid plan to Noctis. He takes another bite of pancakes and nods his head, eventually. “But we can be casual.”  
  
“Of course,” Ignis says.  
  
Noctis points his fork at Ignis. “I mean, you can dress casual. You have jeans, right?”  
  
“Obviously I have jeans,” Ignis says. He sounds more amused than insulted, and Noctis suddenly wonders what Ignis wears when his advisor isn’t with him. Surely he doesn’t go to class in his nice trousers and suit coats. His sweater vests, maybe, with his button up sleeves rolled up past his elbows… Noctis likes that look a lot more than he should. “It’ll shock you to know I even own a tee shirt that has _words_ on it.”  
  
“What words?” Noctis asks.  
  
Ignis hums and scrolls through his phone. “It was a gift from Gladio, mind…” He flips through his photo gallery before pushing his phone across the table to Noctis. “See?”  
  
It’s Gladiolus and Ignis in a bar somewhere, both of them a little red in the face even though neither of them is legally old enough to drink. Gladiolus’ arm is around Ignis’ shoulder in a way that makes Noctis’ gut clench in jealousy, but it’s what Ignis is wearing that really catches Noctis’ eyes; _talk shit get hit_ is emblazoned across his chest in bold letters but it’s nothing compared to the mess of hair gel and the lack of perfect part in Ignis’ hair.  
  
This is the Ignis Noctis wants to get to know. This Ignis who looks like he knows how to get drinks at bars when he’s not even legal and has messy hair and wears shirts with stupid sayings that his friends gave him. The Ignis who exists when he’s not doting on Noctis hand and foot because of his strong sense of duty.  
  
It turns out that maybe Noctis doesn’t know Ignis nearly as well as he thought he did and something cold and heavy settles in his stomach. No wonder Ignis was so wary of the idea of a relationship, they barely even know each other, really.  
  
“Noctis, are you alright?” Ignis asks. He doesn’t reach for his phone, instead opting to cover Noctis’ hand with his own. “You look pale.”  
  
“You should look like that,” Noctis says, in lieu of an answer. He taps the phone screen with his pinky, the only digit free from Ignis’ grasp. “You look good like that.”  
  
Ignis’ cheeks flush slightly, but he looks pleasantly surprised. “I’m not sure how your father would feel about that,” he says. “I’m supposed to be the calming influence in your life.”  
  
“I want to get to know _you_ ,” Noctis says.  
  
Ignis almost looks thoughtful. “You are alarmingly awake this early in the morning for you,” he says, eventually. “I’ll consider it. Finish your breakfast or we risk running late.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I STG we're getting close to the feelings. And I'm trying to get better about updating but _ugh work_.

They eat in the small dining room of the royal apartments and Noctis picks at his dinner in disinterest. He’s exhausted after going to school all day and then training with his father, but he can’t miss dinner with his father. It’s one of the few times a week he gets his undivided attention and Noctis needs that.  
  
As pathetic as it is, Noctis still craves being the center of his father’s universe.  
  
“You’re distracted tonight,” Regis says casually. He takes a bite of his dinner roll and stares pointedly at Noctis.  
  
On reflex, Noctis rolls his eyes and stabs his green beans harder than he needs to. He wants to say _because I could be on a date with Ignis right now_ but bites his tongue. He wants to see where this thing goes before he starts running his mouth about it. He hasn’t even told Prompto yet and he tells Prompto everything.  
  
“Just tired,” Noctis says, eventually, and it isn’t a lie.  
  
Regis watches Noctis carefully before sighing. He takes another bite of his roll and chews slowly. “You’ve been tired a lot lately.”  
  
“So have you,” Noctis says. He flicks the green beans off his fork and stabs his dinner roll instead. “But I don’t call you out on it.”  
  
“No, that’s normally Clarus’ obsession these days,” Regis says. He sounds more amused than anything. “He tells me Gladiolus thinks you and Prompto are… intimate. He’s a nice boy.”  
  
Noctis groans and hides his face in his hands. He should have known the conversation was going to take this turn. It always comes back to Noctis’ romantic life, eventually. “We’re _not_ ,” Noctis says. “You were twenty six when you got married,” he adds accusingly.  
  
“And I married my best friend,” Regis says. “The only woman who has ever given me joy and gave me you.”  
  
They never talk about Aulea. It takes every ounce of self control Noctis has not to squirm at the mention of his mother and he feels bad for bringing her up at all. He doesn’t have to meet his father’s gaze to know the distant look of hurt in his eyes. They talk about her garden and the little lemon petit fours she made for special occasions but they never talk about _her_.  
  
“ _If_ ,” Regis says, dragging the word out. “You were to be in love with Prompto, I would do everything in my power to make your marriage a happy one. Clarus and I have looked into the possibility of artificial insemination if that’s the path you want to walk - “  
  
The idea that Clarus and Regis might have spent an evening on the internet looking up laws and practices of getting a surrogate pregnant on Noctis’ behalf makes him sick to his stomach. What could his father have possibly said to Clarus to make it seem like something the both of them needed to research together?  
  
Noctis hopes Gladiolus is as scarred with this knowledge as he is.  
  
“I - “ Noctis starts. He means to reiterate that he’s not having sex with Prompto and they are definitely not in love, but he gives up. He slumps his shoulders. “I’ll keep that in mind.”  
  
“Excellent,” Regis says, and he looks so thrilled despite his exhaustion that Noctis feels bad for the half lie. “If you’re done picking at your greens, then I believe it’s time for dessert.”

 

* * *

  
“How was dinner with your father?” Ignis asks on the drive home.  
  
Noctis hesitates, but he doesn’t really see the harm in telling Ignis the truth. “I think my dad thinks I’m dating Prompto.”  
  
“I see,” Ignis says. His fingers don’t tighten on the wheel and he doesn’t scowl. He doesn’t react to the news at all, like maybe he’s been in on it, too. “Your father has his concerns.”  
  
“I’m _not_ ,” Noctis says with more force than he intends. Not that there’s anything wrong with Prompto, Noctis just can’t imagine being with him. He’s so vocal and he always wants to do things and he makes Noctis feel bad when he doesn’t realize how privileged he grew up.  
  
Ignis glances over at Noctis and smiles, clearly amused. “I know you’re not.”  
  
“But Clarus and my dad think I am,” Noctis says. He slumps in his seat. “It’s Gladio’s fault, too. He told Clarus we _might_ be banging like a screen door in a hurricane.” He’s paraphrasing, but it sounds like something Gladiolus would say.  
  
“I’ll talk to him,” Ignis says.

 

* * *

 

Noctis wakes up in a panic, moments before he hears the familiar tapping on his bedroom door to signal Ignis is entering. “Ignis,” he breathes, eyes wide and heart hammering in his chest.  
  
“Noct.” In a heartbeat he’s by Noctis’ side, sitting on the edge of his bed and checking his temperature with the back of his hand. “Are you alright?”  
  
He’s so warm that it’s hard to work up the strength to push him away. “I’m fine,” Noctis says. He’s covered in a cold sweat and he can feel himself trembling. “I just realized I don’t know what I’m supposed to _wear_ and - “ Noctis doesn’t know how to explain the panic that spread within him to the point of waking him up and he’s not sure he wants to further embarrass himself.  
  
Ignis looks confused for a moment before he starts to laugh. An honest to gods laugh, not the stifled little choking sounds that Gladiolus normally drags out of him. For a moment Noctis is horrified that Ignis is laughing _at_ him but he _knows_ that’s not right. Honestly, Ignis almost sounds relieved.  
  
Carefully, Ignis brushes Noctis’ hair out of his face and smiles warmly at him. “Whatever you chose to wear, I’m sure will be fine.”  
  
He clearly has more faith in Noctis then Noctis has in himself.

 

* * *

 

 

“I have a date tonight,” Noctis says during lunch. “Like a _real_ date.”  
  
“How did you go from stealth dating to actual dating in the span of a week?” Prompto asks in wonder. “I should charge people for this. I’m a matchmaking king.”  
  
Noctis isn’t entirely sure how he went from stealth dates at the movies to confessing his feelings to Ignis, but he has a sinking suspicion that there are other factors at play. Namely Gladiolus, but Prompto has Ignis’ number as well. He can’t trust anyone.  
  
“We’re going to get burgers,” Noctis says. It’s hard to ignore Prompto’s grin so he chooses to stare at his lunch. “After training with Gladio.” There’s a change of clothes in his backpack, since Ignis normally drives him straight from school to the Citadel. He’s actually kind of worried about wrinkles and Noctis isn’t sure if he’s ever worried about wrinkles before.  
  
“Hey, Gladio said I could tag along sometime,” Prompto says. He waves a carrot stick in Noctis’ direction. “I can be a distraction.”  
  
Noctis isn’t even sure what that’s supposed to mean. He pushes the vegetables off of his plate onto Prompto’s, but the blonde doesn’t complain. “Tell you what, bring a change of clothes Tuesday and you can tag along with me then.”  
  
“You’re no fun,” Prompto says. He eats his carrot stick whole and pats his belly. “I know I won’t be stacked like Gladio, but I think abs would definitely increase my chance of getting a girlfriend. There’s still time for me to get laid before _you_ do.”  
  
“I really doubt Ignis and I are going to be having sex anytime soon,” Noctis mutters.  
  
Prompto looks at Noctis with pity, clearly misunderstanding Noctis’ intent. “You are a minor and Iggy is all about rules and stuff.” He nods to himself and grins. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t do _other things_ , right?”  
  
Noctis has no idea what Prompto means by _other things_ and he has to bite back the bile rising in his throat. Before, he only ever felt a strange sense of apprehension when it came to sex. Now that it’s an actual possibility, Noctis is feeling kind of nauseated.  
  
Propping his chin up in his hand, Prompto looks at Noctis with a lazy grin. “I am happy for you, you know.”  
  
“I know,” Noctis says, and he means it.

 

* * *

 

 

To Noctis’ delight, Gladiolus is having his ass handed to him by Nyx when he shows up for training. His mentor is strong, but Nyx is experienced, and Noctis follows the fight like a hawk searching for weaknesses in Gladiolus’ gait that he’s never seen before.  
  
“It’s important to train with many kinds of people,” Clarus says, an intense look of concentration on his face. “Gladio is used to sparring with you or play fighting with Iris. He knows my style like the back of his hand and has for years. He may lose tonight, but it will be good for him.”  
  
Noctis isn’t entirely sure how losing a few spar fights will help Gladiolus do anything but learn to lick his wounds, but he looks forward to finding out. Very rarely does Noctis get to train with anyone besides Gladiolus, because he’s small and bad at standing his ground. Clarus calls it _embarrasing_ and Regis simply suggested yoga to help him limber up.  
  
“How did you convince a member of the Glaive to come down and knock your son around the room?” Noctis asks, eventually.  
  
Clarus looks at Noctis and winks. “I’ve got my ways.”

 

* * *

 

 

Gladiolus takes his loss out on Noctis, pushing him harder than usual despite his own exhaustion. Noctis regrets cheering for Nyx now that he thinks he’s going to be sporting a welt on his ass for the next two weeks thanks to the heavy, wooden training blades.  
  
To make matters worse, Nyx and Clarus stick around to catch up and watch Noctis get his own ass handed to him. If he could just convince his body to move the way he wanted it to, Noctis wouldn’t have this problem.  
  
“You’re a dick,” Noctis groans in the showers.  
  
“Yeah, well, you have a hero crush on a guy who put me in a chokehold,” Gladiolus returns.  
  
Noctis can’t deny it. “Well, thanks to you, my dad thinks Prompto and I are secretly dating.”  
  
Gladiolus groans and rubs a hand over his face. “Yes, I got to listen to him rant about in vitro for half an hour and the odds of the surrogate deciding to blackmail you for the baby _and_ deal with his pointed stares.” He gestures at himself vaguely, naked and soapy and wet. “Now that they think _you’re_ gay, he’s concerned that _this_ is me trying to hide my own sexuality. He read it on the internet.”  
  
“Dads should not be allowed to use the internet,” Noctis says wistfully. He pauses. “Didn’t you have a date with a girl to the summer solstice?”  
  
“A girl I met in weightlifting class years ago,” Gladiolus says, dismissively. “We talk sometimes, but she’s on the competitive circuit and apparently dating gets in the way of staying in shape. If sex doesn’t count as a workout, you’re not doing it right.”  
  
“You and Prompto,” Noctis says, shaking his head. He doesn’t exactly have anything to add to the statement, but he can feel Gladiolus’ gaze on him and he can feel knots twisting in his stomach. “You always talk about sex.”  
  
“I very rarely bring up sex in front of you,” Gladiolus says, frowning. “You’re almost three years younger than me.”  
  
“Two and a half at best,” Noctis huffs. He shrugs his shoulders and suddenly feels very naked, despite the metal barrier between them giving them some sense of privacy. “Prompto is obsessed with losing his virginity.”  
  
“He does know he can pay for it, right?” Gladiolus asks. He runs his fingers through his hair and frowns. “Hell, a kid like Prompto could probably make bank if he sold himself to the right people. He’s a goddamn twink.”  
  
“Do women pay for sex?” Noctis asks, frowning.  
  
Gladiolus looks at him. “ _Everyone_ considers paying for sex at one point or another.”  
  
_I don’t_ , Noctis thinks, biting his tongue. He can’t imagine Ignis contemplating it, either. There’s too many risks involved; stabbing or being mugged or having your organs stolen or catching some sort of sexually transmitted disease. Besides, Ignis is handsome enough he could probably have any number of people in his dorms if he wanted them.  
  
Noctis feels sick. He turns off the water before he’s finished washing the harsh soap from his skin but Gladiolus doesn’t even notice. He dries off and pulls on his favorite pair of jeans and the heavy boots Regis got him for his birthday last year, before sitting down half naked and staring at the shirt in his hands.  
  
He’s been dreading this. As much as he doesn’t want to, Noctis knows he’s going to have to have a conversation with Ignis about _sex_. Tonight, maybe, but definitely soon. He’s going to have to tell him the truth and pray that Ignis doesn’t think he’s broken or gross or worse -- that Ignis doesn’t break up with him because of the obvious incompatibility.  
  
Noctis doesn’t think he’d be okay with Ignis seeing someone on the side, whether he paid for it or not. He wants Ignis to himself, as selfish as it is, even though he can’t offer everything Ignis obviously needs.  
  
His eyes burn and he fights back the urge to cry. He’s not a child, he can confront his feelings and emotions without breaking down like one. It just sucks that he finally got a good thing in his life and he’s going to lose it already.  
  
“I know you’re tiny, but that’s nothing to be upset about,” Gladiolus says. He’s got a towel wrapped around his waist and he takes up so much space it’s impossible. Up close, it’s hard not to be envious of his muscles. “I’ll help you bulk up, princess.”  
  
“Haha,” Noctis says. He tosses his wet towel at Gladiolus and pulls his shirt on slowly. “I told Prompto he can tag along on Tuesday.”  
  
“Sounds good to me,” Gladiolus says. He uses Noctis towel to dry his hair for a moment before dropping it on the bench. “Might be good to train with someone your own size. I think it’s about time that you went a round or two with Ignis, too. Or would that be a weird mating dance for you two?”  
  
Noctis’ stomach lurches and he wishes he had something left to throw at Gladiolus. He hopes Gladiolus takes his flushed face for embarrassment because he certainly can’t tell him the truth. “We have a date tonight.”  
  
“Astrals,” Gladiolus says. “You know you’re a minor, right? And Iggy may be my best friend but as your Shield I will break his skinny ass in half if he tries to do something you’re not ready for, you hear me?”  
  
He sounds so serious that Noctis honestly isn’t sure if he’s joking or not. He can’t imagine a world where Ignis would force Noctis into doing anything, but judging from Gladiolus’ hard stare, he can.  
  
“Ignis wouldn’t,” Noctis says, when he can find the words. “He’s a good person.”  
  
“I mean it,” Gladiolus says with conviction. “Let me know and I’ll take care of him.”  
  
Noctis isn’t sure what else to say, so he settles for “Thanks. I will.”  
  
It’s good enough for Gladiolus.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you ready?” Ignis asks, leaning against the side of his black sedan. His glasses frames are thicker than the ones he normally wears and his legs seem to go on forever in the tight jeans he’s wearing.  
  
It takes everything in Noctis not to wrap his arms around Ignis’ waist and bury his face in his neck. He can feel his hands shaking and he wants to tell Ignis everything but can’t bring himself to voice the words.  
  
Gladiolus claps Noctis’ shoulder and waves at Ignis. “I already gave him the shovel talk back when this was hypothetical, so don’t worry,” he says quietly, just for Noctis.  
  
“Hypothetical?” Noctis asks, but instead of a reply he gets a gentle shove towards the steps and closer to Ignis.  
  
Noctis really has no idea what his life is right now, but seeing Ignis looking so comfortable and dressed so casually makes it really hard to care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if anyone at the KM is reading this, so I'm just going to keep updating here and I'll crosspost the AO3 link when I'm done. If you are from the KM, I'm sorry, but I don't want to spam the flat view. To everyone else, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Your validation gets me through the work week.

“Are you hungry?” Ignis asks. He looks over at Noctis when they hit a red light and he looks genuinely concerned for a moment. “We don’t have to go yet if you’re not.”

Noctis isn’t entirely sure what Ignis has in mind for them to do but he’s starving. Training with Gladiolus or his father always leaves him drained and famished. Once in a blue moon he’ll go home and go straight to bed, but usually he wants food. A lot of food.

“Food,” Noctis says eventually, when he realizes Ignis expects an answer. It’s definitely the safe answer. He doesn’t know what the alternatives are but food is definitely the right answer.

“Okay,” Ignis says. He almost looks relieved.

 

* * *

 

 

The restaurant they go to is Noctis’ favorite place to get burgers, and the waitress sticks them in a back corner where they won’t be ogled. It’s a little dim but it’s warm and Noctis knows exactly what he wants off the menu anyways. If it wasn’t for the growing sense of apprehension, it would almost feel like a normal Thursday night.

“Did you want to split boneless wings?” Ignis asks, squinting a little to read the laminated menu. “Or perhaps chili fries?”

It feels so overwhelmingly _normal_ that Noctis doesn’t know how he’s supposed to feel. He’s never been on a date before so he’s not sure what he’s supposed to do or say.

“Wings, I guess,” Noctis says. His food will come with fries.

Ignis looks contemplative. “I believe we decided their blazing hot left much to be desired. Honey barbeque?” He looks up when Noctis doesn’t answer, and he looks a little self-conscious when he realizes Noctis is staring. “What?”

Noctis shifts in his seat and stares at his hands. “Nothing.”

“Noct,” Ignis says, softly. He’s got a fond smile on his face when Noctis meets his gaze He nudges Noctis’ foot under the table and presses their ankles together. It’s the closest they can get to physical contact out in public. They can’t risk someone recognizing Noctis and spreading rumors. “It’s just dinner.”

“It’s not just dinner,” Noctis says. He feels sick to his stomach and his hands are shaking. They haven’t even gotten their drinks ordered and Noctis is already messing up tonight. He knows they need to _talk_ but he can’t bring himself to start the conversation. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

“Noct,” Ignis says again, firmer. Despite the thicker frames and the hair gel, he’s still Ignis. He’s still familiar and safe. “Whatever is bothering you, we can discuss later when I take you home. Let us just enjoy dinner for a while.”

Noctis nods his head and then shrugs his shoulders in a jerky motion. He can’t fight the anxious bile rising in his throat. “I’ve never been on a date before.”

“You did just fine when we saw that movie,” Ignis says. He taps his foot and the simple, warm contact at their ankles is oddly reassuring. “Now, how was your day?”

 

* * *

 

 

Noctis is pretty sure he’s horrible at dating. There’s nothing about himself that Ignis doesn’t already know and he’s pretty sure he makes Ignis uncomfortable while staring at him with rapt attention when he talks about his college courses. Most of them are political science or culinary courses and Noctis is kind of amazed Ignis manages to stay at the top of his class when he gets so little sleep.

“Do you take anything for _fun_?” Noctis asks.

Ignis looks at Noctis like he doesn’t understand the question. “I don’t find all of my classes as enjoyable as some, but it’s hardly important in the grand scheme of things.”

Noctis shakes his head. “I take history classes because I have to. I took Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution because it’s _fun_. We do puzzles.”

Ignis looks at Noctis so fondly that Noctis has to stare at the food in front of him to hide his flushed face. “Next semester, if I have time, I’ll take something not related to my core curriculum, if it concerns you that much.”

“It does,” Noctis says. He tries to think of the phrase his father always says about Clarus. “You’re burning the candle at both ends.”

“It’s an odd feeling having you tell me the same sentiments I normally tell you,” Ignis says. He looks more amused than anything.

“Tonight you’re not my advisor,” Noctis says definitively. He wants to add _you’re my boyfriend_ but he’s not entirely sure how true it is.

Ignis just smiles fondly at Noctis and takes a bite of his steak. “That is very true.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Did you save room for dessert?” The waitress asks as she clears away their plates.

“I might puke,” Noctis says, slumping in his seat and groaning.

“So is that a yes or a no?” Ignis asks, tone teasing and smile light.

They get a blondie and split it and Noctis regrets every delicious bite.

 

* * *

 

 

Ignis pays for their dinner in cash and tips the waitress generously. They don’t move to leave right away, but the night isn’t particularly busy and the waitress doesn’t seem to mind. There isn’t a high turnover tonight and given her tip she doesn’t seem inclined to tick them off now.

“I didn’t know you could pull cash,” Noctis says. At Ignis’ confused expression, Noctis frowns. They usually have to use Noctis’ card when they do anything that requires actual, physical gil because the Citadel requires receipts for everything Ignis purchases. “The black card. I didn’t know it let you pull cash.”

“It doesn’t,” Ignis says. He rests his elbows on the table and leans in slightly. “As far as I’m concerned, what we do tonight is none of the Crown’s business. I do get _paid_ to advise and shepherd you around, you know.”

Noctis didn’t know that but it makes a lot of sense. It means that Ignis just paid for their date with his own money and that adds a strange sense of validity to it all. This isn’t another one of Ignis’ duties and responsibilities. This is actual courtship.

“I hope my dad is paying you well, at least,” Noctis says.

“Well enough, considering the benefits,” Ignis replies.

A part of Noctis knows Ignis means the essentially free ride to college and his room and board to go with it, but the selfish part of his brain hopes that Ignis means him. He licks his lips nervously and tries to smile. He wants to look confident but he’s sure he just looks dumb. “Did you wanna head home?”

“Ah, of course,” Ignis says. “I’m ready if you are.”

Noctis knows there is an awkward conversation waiting for him as soon as they get back to Noctis’ place, but for a few moments he doesn’t bring himself to care. Tonight was _good_. He got Ignis all to himself in a way he’s never gotten to see Ignis - relaxed and casual and open about himself. Noctis wants that every day for the rest of his life.

 

* * *

 

 

“Can we makeout on the couch?” Noctis asks once they’re safely inside his apartment.

“On the first date?” Ignis asks. He sounds more amused than anything. He looks like he wants to pick up Noctis’ bag from where he drops it on the floor, but he doesn’t.

“Second date,” Noctis says. “We went to the movies.”

“That hardly counts,” Ignis says. He touches the small of Noctis’ back and guides him to the living room and towards the couch. “This was our first date.”

“So that means we can have another?” Noctis asks. He drops down onto the couch and looks up at Ignis expectantly.

“I would like that,” Ignis says. He sits down, one leg tucked up under himself and facing Noctis. “It will be difficult to maintain discretion, but I would like to try.”

“You’re not going to freak out about being my advisor and my dad trusting you?” Noctis asks. His palms are sweaty and he wants to reach for Ignis to pull him closer, but he doesn’t. “Because if we have to talk about that, I know how to keep a secret.”

“That is certainly a large part of it,” Ignis admits. He looks so comfortable, half leaning against Noctis’ couch and watching him with a fond smile. “Gladio listened to me vent. I know you hate to be reminded of your own responsibilities when you’re trying to enjoy yourself.”

Noctis nods, because he doesn’t know what else to do. “There are other parts?”

For a long moment, Ignis just watches Noctis. “There is the matter of our age difference,” Ignis says, eventually. He pushes his glasses up with a finger and there’s a serious look to his eyes. “I believe it best we wait to consummate anything, at least until you’re legal. Unless of course we decide this relationship isn’t for the best.”

“Consummate,” Noctis repeats dumbly. “You don’t want to have sex?”

Ignis inhales sharply. “I… I believe the legal implications are unfavorable and I would like for your father to fire me instead of having me exiled or left to rot in prison, you understand.”

It isn’t a _no, I don’t want to have sex with you_ but it buys Noctis time. It gives him nearly three months to make Ignis fall in love with him to the point he can’t imagine living without him. Even without the appeal of sex between them. If they don’t have sex now, maybe Ignis won’t miss it by the time Noctis’ eighteenth birthday rolls around.

There’s a chance this might work in Noctis’ favor. He might not have to tell Ignis he’s broken and even if he does, he has nearly three months to make Ignis love him too much to care. It’s going to be a challenge, but if Ignis is already willing to risk his entire life’s training for a few dates, then it may be possible.

Really, Noctis thinks the hardest part will be convincing his father not behead the man he chose to be Noctis’ companion and advisor. He bought Ignis a car for learning to drive though, and the expensive watch he wears every day for his eighteenth birthday. Regis has invited him to brunch and asks him how his classes are going. Regis _likes_ Ignis. The question is just if he likes Ignis enough to maybe let him be his son in law.

Ignis must take Noctis’ silence as disappointment, because he’s sitting up and reaching out to take Noctis’ hand in one of his own. He squeezes gently. “I know it must be frustrating, but we must do this the right way if we want it to work.”

“We don’t have to have sex,” Noctis says meekly. “We really, really don’t. I’m perfectly happy to just go one dates or just stay here and watch movies and maybe touch you - “ Ignis purses his lips slightly and Noctis’ heart hammers in his chest. “Not like that! No sex. But.”

Before Noctis talks himself out of it, he pushes up on his knees and moves into Ignis’ space. It’s surprisingly easy to push him back into the arm of the couch, just flopping on top of the older man and wrapping his arms around his waist. He’s sure they’ll go numb under Ignis’ weight but he can’t bring himself to care.

Ignis is so warm. He is a solid presence, his entire body covered in lean muscle that doesn’t hesitate to engulf Noctis in a tight embrace. His shirt is soft under Noctis’ fingertips and the spot connecting his shoulder to his neck is the perfect place for Noctis to bury his face and inhale Ignis’ scent. He smells like bar food and clean soap and something so inherently familiar that Noctis aches for him.

Maybe not in a way that Ignis would like, but in a way that is good despite the hammering of Noctis’ heart in his chest.

“Noctis,” Ignis says softly, but he doesn’t push him away. He rubs one hand along Noctis’ spine gently, soothing strokes up and down the length of his back, always stopping just above the hem of his jeans. “I thought you wanted to makeout.”

“This is better,” Noctis says. He presses his face in close and sighs happily. He’s probably sure that they should be making out, but Noctis has wanted to do this for so long that he can’t bring himself to stop. “It is only our first date.”

Ignis laughs, his chest vibrating with the sound, and he squeezes Noctis tightly in his arms. “We can do this for a while, I suppose. It’s nice, too.”

Noctis closes his eyes and sighs happily.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do you have to go?” Noctis asks tiredly. He’s not pouting. He knows they both have class in the morning but he already misses the warm embrace of being tucked up into Ignis’ side.

“Noct,” Ignis says. It’s a gentle chide, but a fond one. He hesitates only a second before bringing his hand up to Noctis’ face, cupping his jaw and tucking his long fingers behind Noctis’ ear. It’s surprisingly intimate, and Noctis’ breath catches when his gentle thumb sweeps across Noctis’ cheekbone.

“Iggy,” Noctis says, breathless. He feels like Ignis’ hand on his face is the only thing keeping him grounded right now. His knees actually feel weak and he yearns to be wrapped up in him again. “Are you going to kiss me?”

“I would like to,” Ignis says. He waits for Noctis to say no or pull away, and when Noctis doesn’t, he leans in. His breath is warm against Noctis’ face and his lips are soft. It’s the barest brush of skin, barely a touch at all, but Noctis closes his eyes and leans into it anyways. “Good night, Noctis.”

“Do you really have to go?” Noctis asks, again.

Ignis smiles faintly and presses one more soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll be see you in the morning.”

The logical part of Noctis’ brain knows it’s so he can cook breakfast and make sure Noctis gets out of bed and to school on time, but his heart thuds in his chest and he hopes for more. More of this, mostly. He feels so cold when Ignis pulls his hand away, and he watches his advisor leave with a pout.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way longer than it should have to be updated, but there is so much going on in my life and I'm sorry I'm bad at balancing things. The fiance is gone for a few weeks so hopefully I can use the time to catch up on all the writing I should have been doing all along. I'm trying to figure out exactly where I'm going with this since there are so many things I _want_ to do but don't want to have time skips stretching from now until the beginning of the game.
> 
> **Thank you so much** for all the love and support I've been getting for this. I don't consider myself ace, my aversion/lack of interest is entirely related to prolonged sexual trauma, but it's a wonderful feeling to see that this resonates with other people and that I'm doing something _right_.
> 
> Again, I'm sorry it took so long to update.

Ignis is wearing khakis and a polo and Noctis isn’t sure how he feels. He hadn’t expected Ignis to come around wearing jeans and a flannel, but a part of him had hoped. The polo is well fitted at least and Noctis lets himself wrap his arms around Ignis’ waist as he makes omelettes.

“I was just about to come get you,” Ignis says. He’s back to wearing his normal frames and his hair is parted perfectly. He looks handsome, but Noctis thinks he prefers the look from last night. He was more  _ himself _ .

“Smelled food,” Noctis says tiredly. He knows he should go get dressed because he can’t exactly go to school in chocobo pajama bottoms, but Ignis is here and he’s warm. He nuzzles Ignis’ back and sighs. “Weekend plans?”

“You’ll be spending most of tomorrow at the Citadel with your father,” Ignis says. He doesn’t need to check his phone because he memorizes everything and Noctis is a little envious. Noctis can barely remember when his homework is due. He folds the omelette he’s working on and slides it onto a plate. “Sunday is your usual brunch. It should be a nice weekend.”

Noctis hums. He’d be okay with staying like this forever. No real rush, just the warmth of Ignis’ body and the smell of delicious food cooking. There’s plenty of time before he absolutely has to get ready for school.

“I was thinking,” Ignis starts, almost hesitantly. “If I brought my laptop with me tomorrow, I could study here.” The  _ while you play video games with Prompto _ is left unsaid, though they both know it’s what he means.

“I’m okay with this plan,” Noctis says. It’s probably better for Ignis’ eyes if he doesn’t study off of his phone screen, though using his laptop means he’ll probably have to sit at the table instead of the couch. That part will suck.

“I figured you would be,” Ignis says. He tangles his fingers with Noctis’, half wrapping an arm around his midsection and sighs contently.

 

* * *

 

“How did it go?” Prompto asks eagerly.

Noctis wants to play dumb, but there’s no point. He knows his best friend will just whine and nag until he gets the answers he wants and it takes all the fun out of keeping secrets from him. Not that Noctis has ever been good at keeping secrets from him. He smiles despite himself. “It was good.”

“Ugh,” Prompto says. “You’re so lucky. Not that I want to steal your man, mind. But I’d kill to go on a date with a tall hottie. High heels and legs that go on forever...”

“I don’t understand how your brain works,” Noctis says, amused.

“Honestly, I don’t either,” Prompto replies with a grin.

 

* * *

 

 

At lunch, Noctis gets pinged for a group chat and Gladiolus texts  _ 50c wings @ The Crown _ . It’s a bar not far from the Citadel and Noctis suspects it’s where Gladiolus and Ignis manage to get drinks despite their age. They've always been friendly to the Crownsguard and the Kingsglaive alike.

“Did we want to get wings with Gladio tonight?” Prompto asks, his mouth full of food. He wipes his face with the back of his wrist and grins. “That’s the bar where the bikers hang out, isn’t it?”

Noctis isn’t entirely sure how Prompto got Gladiolus’ number and he’s not going to ask. It might be the bar Prompto is thinking of, but he’s not entirely sure. He mostly goes to the same three restaurants and one of them is the Crow’s Nest because they have the best fries. His father would probably frown upon him going to a biker bar.

“That reminds me,” Noctis says. He wipes his hands and pokes Prompto in the side. “Gladio said you should look into being a prostitute. He thinks you’re pretty enough and apparently it pays well.”

“Gladio thinks I’m pretty?” Prompto asks. He’s more amused than anything, though he rubs his chin in contemplation. “I mean, being a sugar baby would be a great source of income, but I kind of want my first time to be awful with someone my own age that I never talk to again…”

“Probably make more money than being a freelance photographer,” Noctis says. Though, he supposes nothing says Prompto can’t do  both . He sends Gladiolus a happy chocobo emoji and  _ sounds fun _ .

Prompto waves his hand dismissively and texts  _ I’m in!! :):):)  _ before taking another bite of his lunch. He chews thoughtfully, surprisingly quietly for him, before he asks, “does this count as a double date?”

 

* * *

 

Ignis is wearing red sneakers and dark gray jeans when he picks Noctis up from school, but he’s wearing a black sweater and his hair is still parted perfectly. Noctis wonders if this is his comfortable casual look and Noctis wonders what the others are wearing or if he can get away with his favorite black hoodie.

“Do you think Gladio has a thing for Prompto?” Noctis asks, pulling it on anyway and joining Ignis in the main room.

Ignis makes a sound of derision and looks at Noctis like he’s daft. His fingers don’t stop tapping at the laptop he set up on the kitchen table. “If he is interested in men at all, he’s never brought it up to me. He usually dates older women.”

Noctis didn’t know that but it doesn’t surprise him, either. He wonders if older means like  _ finished college and working an unpaid internship _ or  _ take your vitamins and wear a sweater, it’s chilly out _ . He can’t really see Gladiolus with either, but he supposedly doesn’t have time to date. Noctis wonders if it frustrates Clarus as much as Noctis’ lack of interest frustrates Regis.

Speaking of.

“We have to tell my dad,” Noctis says, and Ignis’ fingers stop tapping at his laptop. “Not right now, I mean, but we have to.”

Ignis taps his fingers on the table as he thinks, choosing his words carefully. “I completely agree, don’t misunderstand. I had hoped to give it time and see where this is going first, so your father didn’t accuse me of taking advantage of you.”

Regis wouldn’t think that. Ignis has been taking care of Noctis for as long as he can remember practically, and Regis hand picked him himself to be Noctis’ friend and mentor. But then again, even Gladiolus warned Noctis about Ignis taking advantage of him and Gladiolus is Ignis’ best friend. At least Noctis thinks he is. He’s never really asked. They seem to get drinks together a lot.

Noctis joins Ignis at the table and covers his hand with his own. The back of Ignis’ hand is so smooth and soft, though there are callouses on his fingers and palms from training with blades and polearms almost his entire life. Noctis likes the juxtaposition of it all. He could hold Ignis’ hand forever.

“Aren’t I technically the one in the position of power?” Noctis asks, quietly. “Isn’t there a chance that you’re the victim and I’m taking advantage of you because you've been conditioned to take care of me my entire life?” 

“A chance, perhaps,” Ignis replies, looking at Noctis' thoughtfully. He turns his palm up and lets their fingers tangle together. “But anyone who knows you as more than the crown prince knows you have a gentle soul.”

“And you don’t?” Noctis asks. He refuses to believe that Ignis is capable of the kind of fuckery that forcing Noctis to do anything he didn’t want to - sexually, at least, he forces Noctis out of bed and to the Citadel all the time - would entail. He refuses to acknowledge the  _ gentle soul _ comment, even as his skin flushes.

Ignis makes a thoughtful sound and traces his thumb in gentle circles on Noctis’ wrist. “I do what I must to protect you and ensure you’re thriving.”

Noctis’ phone pings with a text message from Prompto. A selfie, of course, and  _ can Iggy pick me up?? _

“Shall we?” Ignis asks, locking his laptop and closing the lid. He looks like they didn’t just have a conversation about whether Ignis could take advantage of him despite the fact they both know he wouldn’t. He smiles warmly and squeezes Noctis’ hand.

Noctis guesses he’s as ready as he’ll ever be.

 

* * *

 

 

There is in fact a row of motorcycles lined up outside of The Grown and Gladiolus’ monster of an SUV is parked in front of the bar. It’s easy to spot him in one of the booths when they get inside. He waves them over with a grin and Noctis doesn’t feel remotely over dressed. He’s in a tank top and jeans and heavy boots and he looks so comfortable, like he owns the place.

Noctis would kill for that kind of self-confidence. 

Prompto practically bounces into the seat across from Gladiolus and Ignis touches the small of Noctis’ back, encouraging him to follow. It’s not where he wanted to sit, but he’s still across from Ignis so it isn’t all bad. He can bump their ankles together under the table and that’s nice.

“Long week, yeah?” Gladiolus says. He’s pretending to look through the menu though he looks utterly disinterested in it. “I’m ready for the weekend. Just have to get through training tomorrow morning and then I'm free.”

“Heck yeah, weekend,” Prompto says. He’s long and lean and he plasters himself to Noctis’ side to read the menu in his hands. “I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow. I think I’ve earned it after this week.”

“Agreed,” Noctis says. Not that spending time with Ignis is a trial, it’s just everything else in his life he finds beyond exhausting. He could probably sleep for a month and still not feel up to the daily challenges being the crown princes presents.

“After a long, hard nightcap?” Prompto asks, teasingly.

Noctis squirms in his seat and tries to ignore the flushed look to Ignis’ face. When he glances up, Gladiolus is watching him with a look that Noctis can’t quite place. “That’s none of your business,” Noctis mumbles.

Which Prompto must take to mean  _ not in front of Gladio and Iggy _ because he makes an  _ ahh _ sound and gives Noctis an over-exaggerated wink.

The waitress cuts off Prompto’s next comment and Noctis is glad.

 

* * *

 

Dinner is fun in a way that Noctis doesn’t get to experience often. Yeah, Prompto and Gladiolus like to needle him, but Prompto has taken the hint and stopped trying to insinuate things about Noctis and Ignis’ relationship. It’s nice. Just four friends enjoying boneless wings and fruity lemonades while they’re drowned out by the noise of the busy bar. Noctis really couldn't think of a better way to spend a Friday night.

Ignis leaves the table to settle the cheque and Prompto disappears into the bathroom. Noctis should have known Gladiolus was going to say something as soon as they were alone, because he’s had a look all night.

“You and Iggy haven’t hooked up yet,” Gladiolus says. A fact, not a question.

Noctis shakes his head and tries not to stare down at the empty plate in front of him. “We’re waiting for my birthday. He doesn’t want people to think he’s taking advantage of me.”

Gladiolus nods, like the answer is satisfying. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You know that right?” He asks. The question is confusing and Noctis’ can feel apprehension prickling at his skin. “Just because some preset date rolls around, you don’t have to put out if you’re not ready. Ignis will understand.”

“He said something to you,” Noctis says. His fingers tremble and he reaches for his drink. His throat is dry but the mango lemonade does nothing to sate it.

A shrug and a half nod. “I’m not dumb, but yeah, we talk,” Gladiolus says. He raps his knuckles on the table and waits for Noctis to look up at him before he continues. “If he hurts you, I will break his skinny ass in half. But the same goes for you, Princess.”

“Pretty sure beating me up goes directly against your responsibilities as my Shield,” Noctis objects.

“I’ll break your legs, not kill you,” Gladiolus says with a grin.

“I apparently picked the opportune time to return,” Ignis says, amused. He moves quietly and quickly and Noctis’ heart hammers in his chest. He steals the seat next to Noctis' in Prompto's wake and presses their knees together under the table. “Please do your best not to break the crown prince anytime soon, Gladio. It is generally frowned upon.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Gladiolus says with a wicked grin.

 

* * *

 

Ignis walks Noctis up to his apartment, and when they’re alone in the elevator Noctis reaches out to take Ignis’ hand in his own. Pressed shoulder to shoulder, hands half tucked behind their backs, they simple affection is hidden from the security camera. It’s their little secret.

“Do I want to know why Gladio was threatening your life and limb?” Ignis asks.

Noctis groans and covers his face with his free hand. “Pretty sure that was his version of the shovel talk. This is after he threatened to kill you  _ again _ if you hurt me.”

Ignis laughs softly, squeezing Noctis’ fingers in his own. “I suppose it’s nice he’s not  _ taking sides _ , so to speak. But obviously his responsibility to you and the crown should come first.”

“Can we not,” Noctis groans. The elevator dings before he can finish his thought and he has to let go of Ignis’ hand. His fingers suddenly feel like they’re freezing and he does his best to crack them as he makes his way towards his apartment. “You want to come inside for a little while?”

And by  _ for a little while _ Noctis really means  _ make out on my couch _ and judging from Ignis’ expression, he knows exactly what Noctis means.

“I did leave my laptop on your table,” Ignis says graciously. He touches the small of Noctis’ back and punches in the apartment code for him. He’s a wall of heat behind Noctis’ back and he almost doesn’t want to move even after the door swings open to let them both in.

Noctis toes off his sneakers and tosses his hoodie onto the coat rack Ignis had bought him to keep his hoodies from ending up on the couch all the time. He doesn’t wait to see if Ignis follows him towards the living room, because he trusts Ignis not to grab his stuff and cut out. Noctis is starting to think that Ignis was wanted this thing between them to be  _ more _ for a long time.

Ignis is wearing a simple undershirt under his sweater and it clings to his body like a second skin. It leaves his freckled shoulders bare and Noctis can’t help but to reach out for them as soon as Ignis is close enough. His fingertips trace between the imperfections and he can hear Ignis’ breath against his ear. When did they get so close?

“Noctis,” Ignis says softly. One of his hands rests on the small of Noctis’ back and the other curls around the back of his neck. His lips brush against Noctis’ cheekbone, their difference in height glaring obvious.

Noctis feels small and safe, pressed against Ignis’ front and lost in the heat his body is radiating.

Tipping his head back slightly, Noctis lets Ignis kiss him. It’s the barest brush of lips, noses bumping, but it makes Noctis’ heart race in his chest. He clutches at Ignis’ biceps and pushes up onto his toes to keep Ignis from pulling back from the kiss. He catches Ignis’ bottom lip with his own and Ignis sighs softly against his lips. It's perfect, in it's own way.

“Maybe we should sit?” Ignis suggests. He takes both of Noctis’ hands in his own and steps back until he hits the couch. He sits down gracefully and gently tugs until Noctis is straddling his thighs. It feels more intimate than anything else they’ve done so far and Noctis’ palms start sweating. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Noctis lies. He shifts on Ignis’ lap, trying not to focus on the feel of thick, muscled thighs beneath him. He tries not to think about Ignis’ hands on his body, holding his hips close, his thumbs pushed up under the soft material of Noctis’ shirt. He desperately doesn't want to think about what he must look like as an object of desire in Ignis' mind.“Okay, no. No it’s not.”

Ignis lets Noctis pluck his glasses off and set them aside, closing his eyes and sighing contently. He doesn’t object when Noctis drags Ignis’ hands up his body, far away from the tension and anxious roll of his stomach. His palms are warm on the small of Noctis’ back and they stay exactly where Noctis wants them. “Better?”

Noctis swallows thickly and wraps his arms around Ignis’ neck. It is but it isn’t, but Noctis isn’t ready to admit defeat. He leans in and kisses Ignis again, and to his surprise, Ignis lets him. Noctis is a horrible kisser, he’s sure of it, but Ignis mirrors the soft press of lips and doesn’t rush Noctis. His tongue doesn’t press demandingly like Noctis has seen the couples at school do and he rubs soothing circles into Noctis’ back.

It’s hardly  _ making out _ , Noctis supposes, because it’s practically chaste except for their position. The anxiety thrumming through his veins is calming down though and he’s relaxing into Ignis’ body beneath him. It’s overwhelming in so many ways, enough to make him tremble between kisses, but Noctis is in complete control of everything. Ignis is letting Noctis control the pace and respecting his personal comfort and Noctis' is pretty sure he could fall helplessly in love from just that.

Noctis wouldn’t mind spending every night for the rest of his life just like this, just the two of them, trading lazy kisses.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, I'm a dumb fuck. For some reason I was confusing Noctis' birthday (Aug 30) with Ignis (Feb 7). So since the Summer Solstice was June 20 this year, instead of the about seven/eight months Noctis thought he had he really has closer to two/three. Because I'm bad at fact checking. Really, really bad at it. I've already gone back and edited the posts that were made on AO3 _I think_. If I missed one, awkward, I'm sorry.
> 
> On the upside, that means I had to replan things and condense things. Noctis is graduating in like two weeks and I've got to figure out if that needs fixed, too, because yikes. But then we're one step closer to IgNoct finally coming together on the same page and the fic is closer to completion, holy crap. Though there will probably be one coda because there is a scene in my head and ugh. I feel dumb.

Ignis wakes Noctis up with a gentle shake of his shoulder. “Your Highness.”

Groaning, Noctis tries to roll away before he realizes he’s pinned himself between the wall and Ignis, perched casually on the edge of his bed. He never usually sits on the bed when he comes to wake Noctis up. The disruption of their normal routine has Noctis opening his eyes and frowning.

“Is this too much?” Ignis asks. He’s so warm and so close. He smiles softly when Noctis shakes his head, the  _ no, it’s not too much _  left unspoken. Hesitantly, Ignis reaches out to brush Noctis’ bangs from his face. “Breakfast is ready when you are. I wanted to let you sleep in.”

There’s an apology for keeping Noctis up so late in his words somewhere, Noctis can feel it. He doesn’t regret it though. He liked kissing Ignis until his lips went numb. It was a good feeling.

Noctis must be staring, because Ignis cups Noctis’ cheek gently and asks, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Noctis says. He closes his eyes and covers Ignis’ hand with his own. There’s nothing he can say that doesn’t sound dumb, even to his own ears. His face flushes and he hopes his room is dim enough that Ignis doesn’t notice. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Why don’t you get out of bed and see?” Ignis asks, teasingly. He frees his hand from Noctis’ grip and leans over to kiss his forehead softly. It’s surprisingly intimate and makes a pleasant warmth flood Noctis’ body.

Noctis will never get tired of all of the kinds of kisses.

 

* * *

Training and connecting with the crystal is as exhilarating as it is exhausting. It drains his soul in one way and rejuvenates him in another. He can summon an ethereal blade to his hand, make it solid to the touch, but as soon as he swings it in combat his concentration falters and he gets smacked around with a dummy blade.

By and large, Saturdays are the worst day of Noctis’ week.

“You’re not concentrating,” Clarus says, like this isn’t a fact that Noctis is acutely aware of. He summons an axe to his hand before dismissing it and summon a mace, a scimitar and a polearm in turns. He makes it look so effortless.

Noctis has been trying this for years and the only weapon he can manage to hold onto is the very first sword he watched his father put in the Armory. He can summon a set of daggers to him, but they normally fade fast. “Is it time for lunch yet?”

It’s the wrong answer. Clarus orders Gladiolus to carry on and Regis sighs heavily in a way that makes Noctis feel ashamed of himself. He’s too old to constantly be disappointing his father and yet here he is doing it anyways.

They don’t stop practicing until Noctis can hold onto a blade long enough to parry a blow, and by then his arms are too sore for him to lift a fork to his mouth to eat.

 

* * *

Noctis asks his father to play a game of chess and they spend the better part of the afternoon in quiet contemplation. Noctis is by no means a master of the game but he likes having his father’s undivided attention.

It’s not until his third checkmate in a row that Noctis sighs and slumps back in his seat. “Okay, I quit.”

Regis smiles fondly at him and resets the board. “You’re graduating in a few weeks,” he says conversationally, and Noctis wonders where this conversation is going. He knows the celebration has already been planned, probably has been since Noctis started going to school in the first place. “Did you have any plans for after?”

He’s got six finals to get through in the next two weeks and Noctis has done everything in his power to avoid thinking about them. He’s put off his homework for as long as possible, though his term paper was at least due weeks ago. “Probably just sleep in and play video games with Prompto for a few weeks,” Noctis admits, eventually. "I don't know after that."

Regis makes a soft sound. “Have you considered trying to get a job to pass the time or maybe decided if you want to take college courses like Ignis has?”

“A job,” Noctis deadpans. He’s pretty sure one of the few benefits to being the crown prince who was eventually going to have to die for this city was that he wouldn’t end up mopping floors somewhere in his precious free time. 

College he might consider, he guesses, but he kind of assumes Regis and Ignis already have that planned out for him. Noctis hasn’t begun applying anywhere and he wonders if the fact he’s the crown prince means instant acceptance of someone who actually wants or deserves to be there. He wonders if he and Ignis can get a room together or if Noctis will be allowed to keep his apartment.

“I’m told it builds character,” Regis says. He looks amused and Noctis hates him a little for it.

“Gladio doesn’t have a job and he has plenty of character,” Noctis says. Only, that’s not entirely true.

Gladiolus spends a lot of time learning tactics and training alongside Kingsglaive and Crownsguard recruits to better protect Noctis when the time comes. Noctis wonders how much he gets paid to do it and if he makes at least as much as Ignis does.

“I wasn’t aware you and Gladio were the same person,” Regis says. He gestures at the board between them. waiting for Noctis to make a move. Like Noctis didn’t just give up in front of him because he was tired of constantly losing. “A change of subject, then?”

Noctis tiredly pushes a pawn forward and watches his father with narrow eyes. “What?”

“I was thinking it might be nice for you to invite Prompto to brunch in the morning,” Regis says. He’s going for casual and inclusive, but Noctis can see his hesitation as he moves his own pawn forward.

“I’m not dating Prompto,” Noctis says. He doesn’t know how many times he’s told his father that. He should have Ignis make a spreadsheet.

“Of course not,” Regis says. He smiles, like he and Noctis are conspiring on some sort of secret together. “I just thought it would be nice to get to know your  _ friend _ .”

_ Great _ , Noctis thinks.  _ Just great _ .

Noctis sighs heavily and slides another pawn forward. “I’ll be sure to let him know he’s invited.”

“Excellent,” Regis says, and Noctis would feel bad for deceiving him except this is entirely Regis’ fault.

 

* * *

“My dad thinks I’m dating Prompto,” Noctis groans on the car ride home. He presses his forehead to the cool glass of the windows and closes his eyes.

“I do believe you mentioned that, yes,” Ignis says. He sounds more amused than anything. “It should be reassuring that he’s open to the idea of you being in a relationship with another man.”

“Yeah, except now I have to invite Prompto to brunch tomorrow and expect him not to blurt out the secret,” Noctis says. If he could slump any further in his seat, he definitely would. He doesn’t know the last time he felt this exhausted.

Ignis makes a soft sound at their predicament. Prompto is a great guy, and he’s well meaning, but sometimes his mouth gets a little ahead of him. He can’t help himself and Noctis has learned not to blame him for it, for the most part.

“Whatever happened to Eren?” Noctis asks quietly.

Ignis glances at him and frowns slightly. “He’s fine, I’m sure,” he says eventually. “We do live on the same floor, though I believe he’s been avoiding me ever since I told him I no longer wish to see him. He’s not a bad person, Noctis. Why bring him up now?”

“I don’t know,” Noctis says, and it’s the truth. It doesn’t feel like that long ago that Eren was trying to kiss Ignis in front of him. The Summer Solstice was only a few weeks ago. The time counting down to his birthday is coming up alarmingly quickly. “If he had asked you to have sex that night, would you have done it?”

“Noct, I’m not sure this conversation is appropriate,” Ignis says. He sounds genuinely uncomfortable.

It doesn’t stop Noctis from pressing. His palms are sweating and he hates himself. “I mean it. Not if he was being a creep, but if he was being nice, and he invited you back to his room. Would you have had sex with him?”

Ignis is quiet for a long time. He’s not happy with Noctis, though he won’t make eye contact so Noctis can’t judge if it’s just annoyance or disappointment. “I might have, yes,” he says, eventually. His fingers curl around the steering wheel. “He was nice enough. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a casual friend with benefits.”

Noctis’ stomach rolls at the implications. He doesn’t want to think about Ignis laying naked in someone else’s bed. Especially if they didn’t even respect him enough to care about his needs and desires to make him anything other than a quick fuck. Noctis knows that Ignis was probably just as willing a participant in the arrangement, but he can’t see his Ignis willingly cheapening himself over baser desires.

“What if he never wanted to have sex with you?” Noctis asks, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat. His palms are sweaty and he can feel the bile rising.

“Noctis, you’re seventeen,” Ignis says softly. He spares a quick glance over to Noctis and reaches for his hand, squeezing reassuringly. “It’s natural to be nervous about your first time. I will never pressure you into anything you’re not ready for.”

“I mean it,” Noctis says. He tries to focus on the gentle way Ignis’ thumb sweeps over Noctis’ skin, willing himself to relax. “What if I’m never ready.”

“Then I suppose we’ll have to sit down and reevaluate what we want out of this relationship,” Ignis says, surprisingly calm. “But there is more to intimacy than sex and there are certainly other ways to take care of the desire.”

“Like a prostitute,” Noctis suggests, thinking of Gladiolus’ words.

Ignis actually laughs. “I had meant masturbation, but if one doesn’t mind the risk of sexually transmitted diseases or potential blackmail material, I suppose that is an option as well. I personally hadn’t considered it. I wouldn’t recommend it for your first time, either. Trust me. It would be better if it meant something.”

“Did yours?” Noctis asks.

“No,” Ignis answers honestly. “I was sixteen and so enamored that I didn’t realize that situation was beyond inappropriate. It was only the one time and I regret that it happened at all. We haven't spoken since.”

Noctis wants to ask  _ who _ but he doesn’t want to pressure Ignis into answering. He's not sure he wants to know the answer. Noctics knows he’s already pushed Ignis out of his comfort zone with the conversation and he’s beginning to regret it. “I think I’ll take a nap when I get home.”

“I’ll wake you up when it’s time for dinner,” Ignis says, squeezing Noctis’ hand in his own.

 

* * *

_ Dad thinks we’re dating. Want to come to brunch tomorrow? _ Noctis texts Prompto.

_ Is it like an early morning thing and do I have to wear a suit like the last time I was at the Citadel _ ? They’re valid questions, but Noctis still finds himself annoyed at Prompto and he’s not sure why.

_ Wear whatever. It’s at eleven _ . He turns off his phone and rolls over in his bed to nap. Sleep doesn’t come, no matter how hard he tries.

 

* * *

Ignis raps on Noctis’ door gently before letting himself in. “Dinner is ready, if you’re hungry. If you’re not, I can leave instructions to reheat and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Noctis rolls onto his side to look at Ignis but doesn’t bother to sit up. He could reach his lamp from where he’s lying but he doesn’t bother. It’s easier to lay in the dark. “Have you been studying?”

“I have,” Ignis says. He leans against the doorjamb and the light from the hallway illuminates him. “As you should be, I might add.”

“I’ll be fine,” Noctis murmurs. He closes his eyes and tugs his blanket up closer to his chin. “Weekends are supposed to be for relaxing.”

“Oh, how sweet that lie will seem when you’re older,” Ignis says fondly. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose and he looks so exhausted that Noctis feels guilty for doing this to him. He knows he’s high maintenance and that Ignis deserves better but he’s too selfish to say so. “I’ll let you sleep.”

“No,” Noctis says. He props himself up onto his elbows and tries to fight the panic rising in his chest. “Don’t go.”

Ignis hesitates. “Was there something else you needed?”

“My boyfriend,” Noctis says earnestly.

For a long time, Ignis doesn’t move. They’re testing this weird boundary of where Ignis’ duty stops and his freedom begins and Noctis hates that it has to be that way in his apartment. He wants this to be their home, or at the very least a place Ignis is comfortable being himself. Eventually, Ignis closes the door behind him and makes his way closer, sitting on the edge of Noctis’ bed.

“It this about earlier?” Ignis asks. There’s no judgement or resentment to his tone and Noctis absolutely does not deserve such a patient, wonderful boyfriend. His fingers brush the hair from Noctis’ face sweetly. "I'm not upset with you."

“I know, but I’m sorry,” Noctis says. He feels ashamed for how he acted earlier but mostly he just feels exhausted. It’s been a very long day and he wants it to be over. He’s not sure he even has the willpower to roll out of bed and eat dinner. “I…”

Ignis waits patiently, but Noctis can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

_ I don’t deserve you _ , and  _ I get jealous that other people have had you _ and  _ I am scared you won’t want me anymore after you know the truth _ . They all make tears prickle in the corners of his eyes and something bitter rise to the back of his throat.

“Can you stay for a little while?” Noctis asks instead. He reaches out to touch Ignis’ knee, reassuring himself that he’s still there. “We don’t have to talk or do anything.”

For a moment, Ignis seems to consider the intimacy of the situation. Laying in Noctis’ bed, in the dark, when they’ve both agreed there will be no sex between them until Noctis’ eighteenth birthday. He sets his glasses on Noctis’ end table and stretches out besides him, a soft smile on his lips.

Noctis makes room for Ignis under the covers and his heart thuds in his chest when Ignis’ long legs tangle with his own. He’s ready for the warm hand to settle on his hip and Noctis tucks his head up under Ignis’ chin to keep temptation at bay. It’s better this way. It’s intimate in a way that Noctis can’t even begin to explain and the warmth that envelops him soothes him.

“Is this okay?” Ignis asks, his voice a soft murmur. His thumb strokes the soft patch of skin exposed by Noctis’ sleep shirt, but it doesn’t give him the sick, twisting feeling in his stomach being touched normally does. It’s actually kind of nice.

“Yeah,” Noctis murmurs. He snuggles closer, wrapping one of his legs tightly around one of Ignis’ own, and sighs contently. “This is okay.”

He’s pretty sure Ignis stays until he falls asleep.


End file.
